Tell me a joke?!
Question: i want to laugh
Answers: i want to laugh
hhdfjsfhsfhdsfjkdhskjfchs.................. my dog sat on the keyboard.....anyway, heres a blond joke, (no offense)
There is a magical mirror, that will suck you in if you lie. A brunette 233333333333333333222(my dog again) said to the mirror, "I think I am the most beautiful girl in the world" and got sucked in. Couple minutes later, a red head said "I think I have the best hair in the world" and got sucked in. Then a blond came up to the mirror and said " i think...." and got sucked in.
(little johnny joke)
The teacher was explaining about how whales can't swallow people. Little Johnny said " well, susan got swallowed by a whale". The teacher said, " thats impossible, are you sure?" Johnny said " when i go to heaven, i will ask her" "But what if she goes to hell" said the teacher. Then you ask her.
(another blond)
How do you keep a blond confused, yet entertained?
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now scroll back up ----->
Game show with a smart blond
A blond is on a game show. The asker asks her, " which bird does not build there own nest, but goes on other birds nest to make babies in them, a robin, a vulture, a cuckoo, or a crow?" and the blond says, " the cuckoo". " how did you know, because you are correct!!" said the asker." because," said the blond, "everyone knows cuckoos live in clocks! "
Headphones
A blond is going to get her hair layered with headphones on. She goes to the salon, and the lady there said to take the headphones off so she could do her work, but the blonde said "no way, if i took them off, i would die!!" so the salon lady said whatever, and did her work. then the lady took the headphones off, thinking it wouldnt matter if she did, and the blond dropped dead. the lady heard the headphones saying " breath in, now breath out" repeatedly.
Hope you like the jokes!!! merry Christmas!!!!!!!!!
A suppossed witch is brought before a court during The Salem Witch Trials. The jury accuses her of many obscene act with The Devil. To which she replies ''That must have been a very long play I would have liked to see The First IV acts as the play must have been longer than King Lear as it lasted far into the night.
this one is kinda long but it will make you laugh (hopefully)
there is 3 guys in a car. their names are Shut up, Poop, and Manners. they were speeding. they get stopped by a cop. Poop falls out, manners goes to get him. the cop asks Shut up" whats your name" Shut up says "Shut up" then the cop says again"whats your name?" shut up again says Shut up" the cop says" excuse me? shut up? were are your manners?" Shut up says"over there picking up poop."
-LOL-
sars : )
first answer id idnt get, the second is an oldy... but with different names and a place...
i have a dif one from the second...
there are three guys, Trouble, Manners, and Shut Up.
they r walking in a prak, when manners has solme stomach problems. mean while, trouble gets lost, and shut up goes lookng for him. a policeman finds himadn asks him wat is ur name, he replies "shut up" and then he asks wat r u looking for, and he says trouble, and then he says excuse me sir, but whre r ur manner as shut up responds :"in the toilet"
A new business was opening and one of the owner's friends wanted to send him flowers for the occasion.
They arrived at the new business site and the owner read the card,.... "Rest in Peace."
The owner was angry and called the florist to complain.
After he had told the florist of the obvious mistake and how angry he was, the florist replied,
"Sir, I'm really sorry for the mistake, but rather than getting angry, you should imagine this: somewhere, there is a funeral taking place today, and they have flowers with a note saying,... 'Congratulations on your new location!'"