How ever can make me laugh?!
Question: how ever can make me laugh wins! i need really good jokes
Answers: how ever can make me laugh wins! i need really good jokes
Little Johnny's Christmas
A Little Johnny went to sit on Santa's lap, and Santa asked him what he wanted for Christmas
Little Johnny answered, "A damn swingset in the backyard."
"Excuse me?" said Santa.
"I want a damn swingset in my backyard," repeated Little Johnny.
Santa said, "You'll have to ask nicer if you want Santa to bring you something.
Let's try again. What else do you want?"
Little Johnny answered, "A damn sandbox for the side yard."
"You have to ask politely! One more time. What else do you want for Christmas?"
Little Johnny thought for a minute, then said, "I want a damn trampoline in the front yard."
Santa sighed and set Little Johnny off his lap. "I'm sorry son, I can't give anything to someone who talks like you do. I'm not bringing you anything for Christmas
Santa then called Johnny's parents over and told them what had happened. They apologized profusely, saying they didn't understand why he talked like that,and they had been trying to break him of the habit with no luck.
"I know how to stop it," Santa said. "Don't get him anything for Christmas.
Just get some dog doo. Put a pile of dog doo in the backyard where he wants the swingset, another pile in the side yard where he wants the sandbox, and another
pile in the front yard where he wants the trampoline. That will break him of it."
The parents agreed.
Christmas morning the kid heads downstairs to open their presents. Johnny runs out the back door, looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the side door,
looks around, and comes back in. He runs out the front door, looks around, and. comes back in, looking upset
"What's wrong, son?" asked his father. "What did Santa bring you?"
Little Johnny answered, "He brought me a damn dog, but I can't find him!"
i can suck a toad frog until he turns inside out. but it always kills him before you cn put everything back in. my friends laugh whe n i do that joke.
One day a father came home from the doctor diagnosed with cancer. He tells his son he has only a week to live. Being Irish they decided to go to the bar and have a pint. While there the father tells everyone he's dying of aids. The son says nothing till the end of the night. "Dad, why did you tell everyone you were dying of aids, when you're dying of cancer? The father replied. "Because, son this way no one will want to sleep with you're mother after I'm gone!"
A couple lying in bed one night. The husband rolls over and gently kisses his wifes neck implicating he wants to make love. The wife says "No, not tonight honey I have to go to my OBGYN doctor tomorrow and I want to stay fresh." The husband dissapointed sighs then says "Well, do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow?"
One day an older man who has always taken care of his body was looking in the mirror naked and noticed he was tan all over except his penis. So he decided to go to the beach and cover his entire body with sand except his privates.
When two old women walk by, one exclaims "My lord there is no justice in this world anymore!"
Her friend puzzled says, "What do you mean?"
"Well, when I was 20 I was curious when I was 30 I got it when I was 40 I enjoyed it, and when I was 50 I paid for it, when I was 60 I prayed for it and when I was 70 I forgot all about it. Now, I'm 80 yrs. old, the damn things are growing wild and I'm too old to squat!"
If you want more e-mail me and I will give you lot's!