Q&A Lawyers jokes?!
Question: Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
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Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers.
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Q. What's the definition of a lawyer?
A. A mouth with a life support system.
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Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car.
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Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
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Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A. The caterer.
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Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. Other lawyers look interested.
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Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
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Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
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Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
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Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?
A. Who cares?
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Q. What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them, but you never see them.
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Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A. Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
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Q. What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A. Jewelry.
Answers: Q. Why won't sharks attack lawyers?
A. Professional courtesy.
--------------------------------------...
Q. Why is going to a meeting of the Bar Association like going into a bait shop?
A. Because of the abundance of suckers, leeches, maggots and night crawlers.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the definition of a lawyer?
A. A mouth with a life support system.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the definition of mixed emotions?
A. Watching your attorney drive over a cliff in your new car.
--------------------------------------...
Q. Have you heard about the lawyers’ word processor?
A. No matter what font you select, everything comes out in fine print.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What do you call a smiling, sober, courteous person at a bar association convention?
A. The caterer.
--------------------------------------...
Q. How can you tell a lawyer is lying?
A. Other lawyers look interested.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What do you have when a lawyer is buried up to his neck in sand?
A. Not enough sand.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a bankrupt attorney and a pigeon?
A. The pigeon can still make a deposit on a Mercedes.
--------------------------------------...
Q. How can you tell when a lawyer is lying?
A. His lips are moving.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a terrorist?
A. You can negotiate with a terrorist.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a trampoline?
A. You take off your shoes before you jump on a trampoline.
--------------------------------------...
Q. If you drop a snake and an attorney off the Empire State Building, which one hits first?
A. Who cares?
--------------------------------------...
Q. What do honest lawyers and UFOs have in common?
A. You always hear about them, but you never see them.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between a lawyer and a vulture?
A. Lawyers accumulate frequent flyer points.
--------------------------------------...
Q. What's the difference between an attorney and a pit bull?
A. Jewelry.
lmao! Excellent. Gotta work all night and that has put me in a very good mood. Thanks ;-)
hahahahahah!!!! Merry Christmas !
Unfortunately that entire list is true.
Very funny jokes.
lol. i got some of my own too =T.
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Q: If you are stranded on a desert island with Adolph Hitler, Atilla the Hun, and a lawyer, and you have a gun with only two bullets, what do you do?
A: Shoot the lawyer twice.
Q: What do you call 5000 dead lawyers at the bottom of the ocean?
A: A good start!
Q: What?s the difference between a lawyer and a herd of buffalo?
A: The lawyer charges more.
Q:Whats the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?
A:The hooker will stop screwing you once you're dead.
Q:What do you call a lucky break?
A:A bus-load of lawyers goes off a cliff.
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Q:What do you call a crying shame?
A:A seat was empty.
=]
Brilliant.
Lol. another keeper Mechelle.
brilliant star4u.lol
OMG!!! You brought tears to my eyes... xD
Have a star!!! *
Funny! 10!
your on a roll lol
hahahaha excellent brilliant funnyyyyyyyyy!!!!
garbage
Gotta love lawyer put-down jokes. lol.
Q. What do you get when you cross a lawyer with a mobster?
A. An offer you can't understand.
xdvszegg