Did you hear the one about the Englishman, Scotsman and Irish man...?!


Question: ... remind me because i forgot it.


Answers: ... remind me because i forgot it.

An Irishman, Englishman, and Scotsman were sitting in a bar in Sydney. The view was fantastic, the beer excellent, and the food exceptional.

"But" said the Scotsman," I still prefer the pubs back home. Why in Glasgow there's a little bar called McTavishe's. Now the landlord there goes out of his way for the locals so much that when you buy 4 drinks, he'll buy the 5th for you".

"Well, said the Englishman, "At my local, The Red Lion, the barman there will buy you your 3rd drink after you buy the first 2."

"Ahhh, that's nothing", said the Irishman. "Back home in Dublin, there's Ryan's Bar. Now the moment you set foot in the place they'll buy you a drink, then another ..... all the drinks you like. Then when you've had enough drinks they'll take you upstairs and see that you get laid. All this on the house"

The Englishman and Scotsman immediately pour scorn on the Irishman's claims. He swears every word is true. "Well", said the Englishman, "Did this actually happen to you?" "Not myself, personally, no" said the Irishman, "But it did happen to my sister."



An Englishman, Irishman and a Scotsman were all stranded in a desert and somehow manage to find a deer. They all wanted their fair share so the Englishman said "We'll sort it out by who you support". The Englishman said "I support Liverpool so I'll have the Liver". Then the Scotsman said "I support hearts so I'll have the heart".
The Irishman said "I support arsenal but I'm not that hungry!"


An Englishman, a Scotsman and an Irishman were without tickets for the opening ceremonies of the summer Olympics but hoped to be able to talk their way in at the gate. Security was very tight, however, and each of their attempts was met with a stern refusal.

While wandering around outside the stadium, the Englishman came upon construction site, which gave him an idea. Grabbing a length of scaffolding, he presented himself at the gate and said, "Johnson, the pole vault," and was admitted.

The Scotsman, overhearing this, went at once to search the site. When he came up with a sledge hammer, he presented himself at the gate and said, "McTavish, the hammer." He was also admitted.

The Irishman combed the site for an hour and was nearly ready to give up when he spotted his ticket in. Seizing a roll of barbed wire, he presented himself at the gate and announced, "O'Sullivan, fencing."

THAT WAS SOOOOOOOOO FUNNNNNNYNYYYYYYYY dumb***

no loser

i did you know but i think the irish man was the punch line

Two Irish guys were walking out of a bar.....It could happen.

...........................................

I DO NOT KNOW BUT TELL ME WHEN EVER YOU GET IT

Are you referring to the X Factor?
The Irishman had a paddywack and was substituted with a Welsh man.

An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman are running down the street away from the police as they had just robbed a bank.

They look for somewhere to hide and find some bags. the Englishman jumps into the bag named 'cats', the Scotsman jumps into a bag named 'dogs' and the Irishman jumps into the bag named 'potatoes'.

The police find the bags and kick the one named cats, the englishman says 'meow'. the Scotsman gets kicked and says 'woof'. The Irishman gets kicked and says 'potatoes'!

from: http://www.englishforums.com/English/Eng...

And yet another:
One day an Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman walked into a pub together. They each bought a pint of Guinness. Just as they were about to enjoy their creamy beverage, three flies landed in each of their pints, and were stuck in the thick head. The Englishman pushed his beer away in disgust. The Scotsman fished the fly out of his beer, and continued drinking it, as if nothing had happened. The Irishman, too, picked the fly out of his drink, held it out over the beer, and started yelling, "SPIT IT OUT, SPIT IT OUT YOU BASTARD!!!!"

From http://www.fionasplace.net/irishjokes/an...
There are plenty more at this site. Check it out...

Lol no but I dont think any one else have,here have a star and thanks for the laugh.xxx

I don't know, but that Boomer feller was funny!!!

I know one.

An english man and an irishman were told that as they slid edown the slide the slide they can land in it ( what they say) so the english man sldies down the slide and shouts, 'gold' and lands in a pot of gold, the scotish man says 'silver' and landed in a pot of silver but the irishman said 'wee' and landed in a pot of wee.

Thats pathetic that one, ive got another one.

There was an english man an scotish man and an irish man and htey all took a car too the desert. However the car broke down adn there was no one out there and there was no town. They however (for some reason) could only take one object with them in order to find help. The english man took water, in order to keep hydrated, the scotishman took food, so he doesnt get hungry, however the irishman took the cara door. As they where walking along the desert sand the englishman said to the irishman, 'why did you take a door?', and the irishmans said 'so i can wind my window down when i get hot'.

Ha!

Good question xx

It is the one where the Welshman took their bag of ' toffees ' and then claimed that his name was on the bag !

No, did you?

Can`t remember either,,,



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