Heaven or Hell? Funny or not ?!
Question: A Chicago area divorce lawyer died and found his way to the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The lawyer thought for a moment and replied, “Last month I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was in fact true.
Saint Peter said, “Well , that’s fine, but that in itself just isn’t enough to get you into Heaven.” The lawyer quickly retaliated, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Four years ago I gave another homeless person a quarter.” Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this too had been verified.
Saint Peter, unsure of himself, whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?” Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,
“Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”
Answers: A Chicago area divorce lawyer died and found his way to the pearly gates. Saint Peter asks him “What have you done to merit entrance into Heaven?” The lawyer thought for a moment and replied, “Last month I gave a quarter to a homeless person on the street.” Saint Peter asked Gabriel to check this out in the record, and after a moment Gabriel affirmed that this was in fact true.
Saint Peter said, “Well , that’s fine, but that in itself just isn’t enough to get you into Heaven.” The lawyer quickly retaliated, “Wait Wait! There’s more! Four years ago I gave another homeless person a quarter.” Saint Peter nodded to Gabriel, who after a moment nodded back, affirming this too had been verified.
Saint Peter, unsure of himself, whispered to Gabriel, “Well, what do you suggest we do with this fellow?” Gabriel gave the Lawyer a sidelong glance, then said to Saint Peter,
“Let’s give him back his 50 cents and tell him to go to Hell.”
Thats a great joke, you deserve a *STAR!*
LMAO
Wow, Im seein u everywhere tday. Here, have anutther joke!
There was this guy who always went out drinking with his friends. He would always come home very late. One night, while he was at the bar he told them his secret for being able to sneak in late.
"When I walk in the house, before the wife can say anything, I lay her down, take off her panties, and give her the best oral sex she's ever had, until she has such an orgasm that she falls into a deep sleep. Then, I wash up and go to bed. By morning, she is so pleased, she doesn't care what time I came home."
One of his friends thinks this is a great idea. So he stays out late, comes home, sneaks into the bedroom, gives his wife the best oral sex she's ever had, and goes to wash up. His wife walks into the bathroom, obviously upset that he's home so late.
"Hey, why aren't you sleeping?" he asks.
"I was was, but I came in to tell you that we've got to sleep on the couch tonight, 'cause my mother is sleeping in our bedroom."
! ! ! LoL ! ! !
(ps, thanx 4 the laugh!)
I'm glad you took time to type that! very funny.thanks bon-bon
lol haha good one
AHAHAHAHAHA.
That was hilarious.
OMG if I was Gabriel I would do the same. LMAO.
hahahaha
that was great ive gotta give you 1 back too. i posted it the other day sorry if you already read it. a guy n girl goes to a yard sale. she sees a beautiful mirror and asks how much 4 it. the guy says 100 dollars and explains because its a magic mirror. go home hang it on ur door n make a wish it will come true. they agree n take it home and lets the girl go 1st. mirror mirror on the door she says make my boobs a 44. n poof her boobs grew very big so the guy, all exited, pushes her out of the way n yells mirror mirror on the door make my ding-ding touch the floor n POOF his legs fell off!....thanx again 4 ur joke lol!