Hilarious Christmas pudding recipe....?!
Question: Flibble Family Christmas Pudding Recipe
1 cup water
1 cup of sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon of brandy
Sample the brandy to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the brandy again to be sure it is
of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter
in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the brandy is still OK.
Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers,
pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something, Who cares.
Check the brandy
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the brandy again.
Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway
Answers: Flibble Family Christmas Pudding Recipe
1 cup water
1 cup of sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 teaspoon baking soda
1 teaspoon salt
1 cup brown sugar
lemon juice
nuts
1 gallon of brandy
Sample the brandy to check for quality.
Take a large bowl.
Check the brandy again to be sure it is
of the highest quality.
Pour one level cup and drink.
Repeat.
Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup butter
in a large, fluffy bowl.
Add 1 teaspoon sugar and beat again.
Make sure the brandy is still OK.
Cry another tup. Turn off mixer.
Break 2 legs and add to the bowl and chuck
in the cup of dried fruit.
Mix on the turner.
If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers,
pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the brandy to check for tonsisticity.
Next, sift 2 cups of salt. Or something, Who cares.
Check the brandy
Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.
Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees.
Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl out of the window.
Check the brandy again.
Go to bed.
Who the hell likes fruitcake anyway
When do you put the weed in?
Awesome. STAR
LOL
sooo cool!!!! i know what it's missing though..... it's missing some mashed banana and some brown goop from the toilet. then give to your worst enemy.... lol... try it!
40/10!!!!!! 100/10!!!!! I can't give you enough points!
My daughter and I have been crying, we laughed so hard. My stomach hurts. It is a good thing I could gasp for air between the bursts of laughter, or I would be sending Morese Code right now....S.O.S...
\m/ ^o^ \m/ (rock on!!!!)
Loved it. Good job!
LOL, funny. I've heard of jokes like that. Try this one.
How To Give A Cat A Pill
1. Pick up the cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm
as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either
side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while
holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth.
Allow cat to close mouth and swallow.
2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from under chair. Cradle cat
in left arm and repeat process.
3. Retrieve cat from bedroom and throw soggy pill away.
4. Take a new pill from foil wrap. Cradle cat in left arm holding
rear paws tightly with left hand. Force jaws open and push pill
to back of mouth with right forefinger. Hold mouth shut for a count of ten.
5. Retrieve pill from goldfish bowl and cat from top of wardrobe. Call spouse in from garden.
6. Kneel on floor with cat wedged firmly between the knees. Holding
front and rear paws, ignore low growls emitted by cat. Get spouse
to hold cat's head firmly with one hand while forcing wooden ruler
into mouth. Drop pill down ruler and rub cat's throat vigorously.
7. Retrieve cat from curtain rail, get another pill from foil wrap.
Make a note to buy a new ruler and repair curtains. Carefully
sweep shattered figurines from hearth and set aside for gluing later.
8. Wrap cat in large towel and get spouse to lie on cat with it's head
just visible from beneath spouse's armpit. Put pill in end of drinking
straw, force cat's mouth open with pencil and blow down straw.
9. Check label to make sure that pill is not harmful to humans. Drink
glass of water to take taste away. Apply band-aid to spouse's forearm
and remove blood from carpet with cold water and soap.
10.Retrieve cat from neighbor's shed. Get another pill. Place cat in
cupboard and close door onto neck to leave head showing. Force
mouth open with spoon, flick pill down throat with elastic band.
11. Fetch screwdriver from garage and put door back on hinges. Apply
cold compress to cheek and check records for last tetanus shot.
throw t-shirt away and fetch new one from bedroom.
12. Call the fire department to retrieve cat from tree across the road.
Apologize to neighbor who crashed into fence while swerving to avoid
cat. Take last pill from foil wrap.
13. Tie cat's front paws to rear paws with garden twine and bind tightly
to leg of dining room table. Find heavy duty pruning gloves from garage.
Force cat's mouth open with small trowel. Push pill into mouth followed}
by large piece of fillet steak. Hold head vertically and pour 1/2 pint
of water down throat to wash pill down.
14. Get spouse to drive you to emergency room. Sit quietly
while doctor stitches finger and forearm and removes pill remnants
from right eye. Stop by furniture store on the way home to order
a new table.
15. Arrange for vet to make housecall.
ha lol!
Funny! 10!