Tell me a joke,I need a laugh, not too long, I want everyone to read them, and t!
Question: Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Wanna go ride bikes?
On his last day on the job, a mailman is greeted by a young housewife who invites him in for breakfast. After the feast she leads him to the bedroom for an extensive sexual romp. Afterward she gives him two dollars.
“Jeez,” says the mailman, “this is great, but what’s with the two dollars?”
“Well,” she replies, “since you’re retiring, I asked my husband what we should do for you. He said, ‘**** him—give him a couple of bucks.’ Breakfast was my idea.”
Answers: Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Wanna go ride bikes?
On his last day on the job, a mailman is greeted by a young housewife who invites him in for breakfast. After the feast she leads him to the bedroom for an extensive sexual romp. Afterward she gives him two dollars.
“Jeez,” says the mailman, “this is great, but what’s with the two dollars?”
“Well,” she replies, “since you’re retiring, I asked my husband what we should do for you. He said, ‘**** him—give him a couple of bucks.’ Breakfast was my idea.”
There was an elderly man who slowly walked up to the White House, where there was a young Marine guard. The old man says to the guard, "I have traveled quite aways and I wish to see Bill Clinton." The guard looks at the old man and says, "Sir, I'm sorry, but Bill Clinton is not here any longer, there is now a different president." The old man says, "Oh I see," then leaves.
The very next morning the same guard was standing there, and who do you think returns, slowly approaching again? Sure enough it was the old man, and the guard figured he had a different question, but again he says, "I would like to see Bill Clinton." The guard patiently tells the man again, "Sir, as I indicated yesterday, Mr. Clinton no longer resides at this office." The old man nods, and then strolls away.
Day three: Same scenario - the guard is standing there and along comes the old man, who again insists, "I want to see Bill Clinton." The guard, becoming somewhat frustrated looks at the man and tells him, "Sir, this is the third day you have come here asking for Bill Clinton, even though I have made it perfectly clear he doesn't live at the White House any longer. What else can I do to convince you, don't you understand, sir?"
The old man looks at the guard straight in the eye and says, "As I told you, I have traveled quite a distance. You have told me that Bill Clinton does not live here any longer. Yes, young man, I do understand it, but you see...I JUST LOVE HEARING IT!”
The young Marine smiles warmly and says in agreement, "Sir...I'll look forward to seeing you again tomorrow!"
The day before getting married the groom2be fell down the stairs and broke his tool. The doctor had to put a cast on it.
During the honeymoon the wife took off her clothes and said. Here I am baby brand new and never been used.
He took off his clothes and said, look I am so new it's still in the wrapper.
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices our Little Johnny trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, Little Johnny is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching Little Johnny’s efforts for some time, the priest steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”
To which Little Johnny replies, “Now we run!”
or this?
There was a very bad man that was sent to hell after he died for his very bad deeds...
He then meet satan. Behind satan were three doors of hell punishment, he wants the man to pick one of the doors behind.
The first door was a chamber 2 big ugly guys with knives that will stab him endless. The man cried and said to satan "I wont pick this door".
Then they went to the 2nd door.. big rocks from above will endless fall into him. The man doesnt like the 2nd door either.
Then the last door was a hot woman making bl0w j*b to the old man. The bad man was a bit happy and picked the 3rd door.
Then satan said to the hot woman "Hey you can go now someone here replaces you"