Anyone know any good blonde jokes? Could do with cheering up :)?!


Question: (1) Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the pavement and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." She hands it to the second blonde. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

(2) A blonde brags about her knowledge of American state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead; ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy... it's W!"

(3) A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch.
"Wow!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was trampled on by an elephant! Are you OK, ma'am?"
"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road, when from out of nowhere this tree popped up in front of me, so I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, madam," the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the car, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air-freshener swinging back and forth."

(4) Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she had been robbed. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer aproached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen! I call the police for help,and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

5)There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"
"Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382". "Wow!" said the herder.
"That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?" queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

6)a blone a brunette and a red head were walking 1 day then a demon jump out and said he would tell them 100 jokes. he told the first and the brunette laughed and died. on the second the red head laughed.then on the 99th question the blonde laughed.the brunette asked her why she laughed and she said i finally got the 1st joke


Answers: (1) Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on the pavement and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the mirror, and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." She hands it to the second blonde. The second blonde looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"

(2) A blonde brags about her knowledge of American state capitals. She proudly says, "Go ahead; ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh that's easy... it's W!"

(3) A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch.
"Wow!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was trampled on by an elephant! Are you OK, ma'am?"
"Why, yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.
"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road, when from out of nowhere this tree popped up in front of me, so I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was another tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was...."
"Uh, madam," the officer said, cutting her off as he looked inside the car, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air-freshener swinging back and forth."

(4) Returning home from work, a blonde was astonished to see that she had been robbed. She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime. The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the channels, and a K-9 unit patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer aproached the house with his dog on a leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and his dog, and then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned, "I come home to find all my possessions stolen! I call the police for help,and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman!"

5)There was a blonde who was sick of all the blonde jokes. One day, she decided to get a make over, so she cut and dyed her hair. She went driving down a country road and came across a herd of sheep. She stopped and called the sheep herder over.
"Tell you what. I have a proposition for you," said the woman.
"If I can guess the exact number of sheep in your flock, can I take one home?"
"Sure," said the sheep herder. So, she sat up and looked at the herd for a second and then replied "382". "Wow!" said the herder.
"That is exactly right. Go ahead and pick out the sheep you want to take home." So the woman went and picked one out and put it in her car.
Then, the herder said, "Okay, now I have a proposition for you".
"What is it?" queried the woman.
"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

6)a blone a brunette and a red head were walking 1 day then a demon jump out and said he would tell them 100 jokes. he told the first and the brunette laughed and died. on the second the red head laughed.then on the 99th question the blonde laughed.the brunette asked her why she laughed and she said i finally got the 1st joke

why did the blonde nurse carry a red pen?
so she could draw blood.

3 girls hung from the top of a building holding on for their lives
one brunette, 2 blondes, the brunette started thanking everyone she knew for everything in her life, the blondes started clapping for the brunette...................................


who lived? hahahahahahhahahaha

One-Eyed Blonde


Two blondes are walking down the road when one says ''Look at that dog with one eye!''

The other blonde covers one of her eyes and says ''Where?''

She was so blonde:

She sent me a fax with a stamp on it.
She thought a quarterback was a refund.
She tripped over the cordless phone.
At the bottom of the application where it says "sign here", she put "sagitarius".
When she heard that 90% of all crimes were committed around the home, she moved.
It took her months to figure out she could use an AM radio at night.
She was staring at the frozen orange juice because it said "concentrate".
She thinks Taco Bell is a Mexican phone company.
She told me to meet her at the corner of walk & don't walk.
When she was on the highway going to the airport and saw a sign that said, airport left, she turned around and went home.
She studied for blood test and failed.
It takes her two hours to watch 60 minutes.
She looked into a box of Cheerio's and said, "oh, look! donut seeds!".

"What's the definition of eternity?"
4 blondes at a 4-way stop.

Why do blondes have TGIF on their fronts? "This goes in front".

what does BUSH stand for?? Beat Up Saddam Hussain..

lol lol lol



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