Are these stupid questions?!
Question: Stupid Questions
As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest...
1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?
6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?
9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?
10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
11. What do people in China call their good plates?
12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.
14. What do you call male ballerinas?
15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?
16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?
17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ***?
23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
Answers: Stupid Questions
As far as stupid questions go, these are the stupidest...
1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say
"hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?
6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries
have a use by date?
9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a
horrible crisp no one would eat?
10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
11. What do people in China call their good plates?
12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.
14. What do you call male ballerinas?
15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?
16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?
17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe,
you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ***?
23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
1. Why does your gynecologist leave the room when you undress?
It is a failed attempt at politeness ... he only wants to see your vagina, not your breasts.
2. If a person owns a piece of land, do they own it all the way down to the center of the earth?
Yep, all the way down to the molten magma ... :)
3. Why can't woman put their mascara on with their mouth closed?
Concentration decides that the mouth has to be open for perfect accuracy.
4. Why is it called alcoholics anonymous when the first thing you do is stand up and say "hi, my name's Bob. I'm an alcoholic"?
It is a secret attempt to get people to go because they think it will never be told to anyone ... that is, outside the building.
5. If you mated a Bulldog with a Shitsu would you get a Bullshit?
Yes, it would be bullshit because it is a horrible mix.
6. Why are they called stairs inside but steps outside?
It is a secret plot to take over the world as we know ... :)
7. Why is there a light in the fridge but not in the freezer?
They figured it would be an ingenius idea for a person to have to open the fridge door to see in the freezer ...
8. Why does mineral water that has trickled through mountains for centuries have a use by date?
Because once they pull it from the mountain it loses its magic.
9. Why do toasters always have a setting on them which burns your toast to a horrible crisp no one would eat?
This was just a joke from the inventors to find a way to waste bread ...
10. Who was the first person to look at a cow and say "I think i'll squeeze these dangly things here and drink what comes out"?
I think his name was Abadiah Milker .... one day he was lost in the woods with his pet cow and couldn't find his way back, so the next thing you know he was looking for some forplay and instead of copping a feel, he got milk ... lol
11. What do people in China call their good plates?
US Plates ... Honey, let's bring out the good US plates tonight for company! :)
12. If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why can't he fix a hole in a boat?
He was a genius, not a mechanic or architect .... even though his IQ was supposedly 186 ...
13. Why does Goofy stand on two legs when Pluto remains on four? They're both dogs.
Actually, Goofy is a Man-Dog .... which is different from an actual dog.
14. What do you call male ballerinas?
A Ballerino
15. Can blind people see their dreams and do they dream?
Yes, they do dream and it is in color ...
16. If Wile E coyote has enough money to by all that Acme crap why doesn't he buy his dinner?
Animal instincts take over the intellect ... besides that, it wouldn't be a funny cartoon if he called Dominos now would it....
17. Why is a person who handles money called a broker?
Because when he takes a person's money and invests it in the wrong stock the person is broke -r .... lol
18. If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?
Test -ical ... :)
19. If corn oil is made from corn and vegetable oil is made from vegetables. What is baby oil made from?
That information is Top Secret and if found out the very fabrics of our reality would split in two making our universe go out with a very Big Bang ...
20. If a man is walking in a forest and no women is there to hear him is he still wrong?
Funny thing about that .... the squirrels would still stone him to death with acorns because he wouldn't admit he is wrong ...
21. Why is it that when someone tells you that there's billions of stars in the universe, you believe them. But if they tell you there's wet paint somewhere you have to touch it?
We believe them because we are taught to do so at a very young age ... besides that, we touch wet paint because we have an unresolved issue with fingerpainting that was never solved when we were in kindergarten ... yes, it was that fun.
22. Why do you call it an asteroid when its outside the hemisphere, yet call it hemorrhoid when its in your ***?
Would you really like an asteroid on your *** and then have a hemorrhoid floating in outer space all willy nilly?
23. Did you ever notice that if you blow in a dogs face it goes mad, yet when you take him on a car ride he sticks his head straight out the window?
It is rude to blow in a dog's face and he or she will certainly let you know it is bad conduct ....
I liked the toaster one. Yup very stupid hehe =)
they mite be stupid.but they sure make you think!!!
if u throw at cat out of a moving car is that considered KITTY LITTER?
lol
I like number twenty three
Why don't they call people from Paris Parisites?
Why do I have to click start to turn this thing off?
can a parsley farmer have his wages garnished
why do they call it a building when its already built
the hard questions are numbers 2,3,23,22,19,18,16,15,13,12
,10,9,8,7,6,4,3,2,1.
Yes and this further proves that we are all stupid
1. Only in America......can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
2. Only in America......are there handicap parking places in front of a skating rink.
3. Only in America......do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy cigarettes at the front.
4. Only in America......do people order double cheeseburgers, large fries, and a DIET coke.
5. Only in America......do banks leave both vault doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
6. Only in America......do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk in the garage. yeah, we have like $100,000 in my front yard.
7. Only in America......do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
8. Only in America......do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
9. Only in America......do we use the word 'politics' to describe the process so well: 'Poli' in Latin meaning 'many' and 'tics' meaning 'bloodsucking creatures'.
10. Only in America......do they have drive-up ATM's with Braille lettering.
EVER WONDER:
Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
Why women can't put on mascara with their mouth closed?
Why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic Wins Lottery"?
Why is "abbreviated" such a long word?
Why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?
Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made with real lemonade?
Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called rush hour?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
When dog food is new and improved tasting, who tests it?
Why didn't Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
Why do they sterilize the needle for lethal
injections?
You know that indestructible black box that is used on airplanes? Why don't they make the whole plane out of that stuff??
Why don't sheep shrink when it rains?
Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?
If con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the
opposite of progress?
If flying is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?
Why do they have locks on 24 Hour Fitness?
------------------
In case you needed further proof that the human race
is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
(that's the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos:! ..You could be a winner! No
purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?).
On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular
soap." (and that would be how???....).
On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion:
Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).
On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do
not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be
hot after heating."(...and you thought????...)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron
clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)
On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a
car or operate machinery
after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to
reduce the rate of
construction accidents if we could just get those
5-year-olds with
head-colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
(and...I'm taking this because???....)
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or
outdoor use only."
(as opposed to...what?)
On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for
the other use." (now,
somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit
curious.)
On Sunsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
(talk about a news
flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
"Instructions: Open packet, eat
nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)
On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this
garment does not enable you
to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the
parents for this
one.)
On a Swedish chainsaw: "Do not attempt to stop chain
with your hands or
genitals." (...was there a lot of this happening
somewhere?)
yes but there good ones
Those were funny but they made you think as well!
The professor was a moron... and a man is only right if he keeps his opinions to himself. Wile E. Coyote wasn't smart enough to make the Acme inventions work, so why would he be smart enough to think to order a delivery pizza? And I have often wondered who first thought to grab a cow down there, and see what came out when he jerked on it...
Personally, baby... I think you need to post the "Don't Look Down!" joke... these guys would ALL get a kick out of that one! :-)
nothing
Those were awesome where do you get this stuff?
thnx 4 laughs
LOL.very stupid very very.it make me laugh out loud
i DID notice number 23!!!
Lol!
These are so funny!!!
I like numbers 4,11,12,18,21 the best!!!
Good job- star 4 u!
Peace. and .love
ANDREA!
LOL NICE
haha they were hilarious!!! thanks for the laughs =D
i was sitting here LITERALLY laughing out loud!!!