U mean you can't humour me?!
Question: i begged for a joke about a week ago coz i was feeling so low and i needed to laugh to raise my spirits and y'all refused except for one kind person who tried his best to be funny.
today,i feel low again.plz share something funny with me,somebody,plz? anybody?
Answers: i begged for a joke about a week ago coz i was feeling so low and i needed to laugh to raise my spirits and y'all refused except for one kind person who tried his best to be funny.
today,i feel low again.plz share something funny with me,somebody,plz? anybody?
ok a man was driving around in his new yellow feriie car and out of a sudden god poped up . he said greg youve been such a good man all your life you may have one wish.
so greg said " i wish for a bridge from here all the way ro hahwie "what was a 3 thousand miles to there and back
god said " damn greg thats alot of concerete wish for somthing more personal you really want .
so greg said " i really wish that i could understand my wife . she like crys out of know where and is always upset or the total oppersite i just wish i could understand her.
so god said
" so was that 2 or 4 lanes you wanted on that bridge "
haha made me laugh :] x
knock knock? "whose there?" the interrupting cow..."the interrupting cow wh"MOO! (yeah i interrupted my own answer...thus the joke... doesn't work as good when you aren't speaking it....lame i know ...but i always laugh)
zoey has a good joke
it was on youtube look up "completley uncalled for" or just "uncalled for". look at other barats and bareta videos
or smosh
There are three men that are construction workers, a mexican, an african american, and a white blond man. They were all sitting on a bridge getting ready to eat their lunch. The mexican man says "if i have turkey again i'll jump off this bribge and kill myself!"The african american says "if i have ham again i'll jump off this bridge and kill myself!" The white blond man says "if i have tuna again i'll jump off this bridge and kill myself!" They all had the same thing for lunch so they all jumped off the bridge.
At the funeral, the mexican and the african americans wives were saying "im sorry i didnt pack you a different lunch!"
Everyone turned to look at the blond mans wife and she said "dont look at me he packed his own lunch!!"
A frog goes into a bank and approaches the teller. He can see from her nameplate that her name is Patricia Whack.
"Miss Whack, I'd like to get a $30,000 loan to take a holiday."
Patty looks at the frog in disbelief and asks his name.
The frog says his name is Kermit Jagger, his dad is Mick Jagger, and that it's okay, he knows the bank manager.
Patty explains that he will need to secure the loan with some collateral.
The frog says, "Sure. I have this," and produces a tiny porcelain elephant, about an inch tall, bright pink and perfectly formed.
Very confused, Patty explains that she'll have to consult with the bank manager and disappears into a back office.
She finds the manager and says, "There's a frog called Kermit Jagger out there who claims to know you and wants to borrow $30,000, and he wants to use this as collateral."
She holds up the tiny pink elephant. "I mean, what in the world is this?"The bank manager looks back at her and says...
"It's a knickknack, Patty Whack. Give the frog a loan, his old man's a Rolling Stone!"
My grandfather died in Auschwitz (German death camp)
People:- wow...so sorry...gee.....um....awkward silence...
- Yeah, he fell off the watchtower...
Ok,,,here's some for u,,,,I just hope it won't get me banned by YA again,,,
Little Johnny has a question, so he goes around the house to find his
father. He opens his dad's bedroom door and finds his mom and dad
humping away on the bed! "Dad!" says Johnny, "What are you doing!"
Johhny's father stops humping for a second and says "Well, Johnny, I'm
playing poker...and your mother's the wild card". "Oh,"says Johnny and he leaves the room.
Still in need of an answer to his question, Little Johnny set out to
look for his big brother, Ernie. He opens his brother's bedroom door and finds Ernie and his girlfriend Thelma humping away! "Ernie!" cried Johnny, "What are you doing!". Ernie stops humping for a second and says, "Well...I'm playing poker, Johnny... and Thelma is the wildcard. "Oh", says Johnny and he leaves the room.
Later, Johnny's dad approached Johnny's room to call him to dinner. He
opens Johnny's bedroom door and finds Johnny wacking off like it was
going out of style! "Johnny!" his father said, "I see you're playing
poker, but where's your wildcard?"
Johnny replies, "With a hand like this, who needs a wildcard!"
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This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"
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The head nun at the convent says, "I found a pair of men's underwear under my desk!"
Twenty nuns gasp, but one nun goes "Heh, heh, heh..."
She says, "And I found a used condom on my desk!"
Twenty nuns gasp, but one nun goes "Heh, heh, heh..."
She says, "And there was a huge tear in the condom!"
One nun gasps, but twenty nuns go, "Heh, heh, heh."
Baptizing A Drunk
A man is stumbling through the woods totally drunk when he comes upon a
preacher baptizing people in the river.
The drunk walks into the water and subsequently bumps into the preacher.
The preacher turns around and is almost overcome by the smell of booze.
Whereupon he asks the drunk, "Are you ready to find Jesus?"
"Yes I am," replies the drunk, so the preacher grabs him and dunks him
in the river. He pulls him up and asks the drunk, "Brother have you
found Jesus?"
The drunk replies, "No, I haven't." The preacher, shocked at the answer,
dunks him into the water again, but for a bit longer this time. He pulls
him out of the water and asks again, "Have you found Jesus, my brother?"
The drunk again answers, "No, I have not found Jesus." By this time the
preacher is at his wits end so he dunks the drunk in the water again,
but this time he holds him down for about 30 seconds
When the drunk begins kicking his arms and legs, the preacher pulls him
up. The preacher asks the drunk again, "For the love of God, have you
found Jesus?"
The drunk wipes his eyes and catches his breath and says to the
preacher, "Are you sure this is where he fell in?"
Husband asks , "Do u know the meaning of WIFE??
"Without Information Fighting Everytime"
Wife replies," No, It means ,
"With Idiot For Ever !!!"
Wife: Darling today is our anniversary, what should we do?
Husband: Let us stand in silence for 2 minutes.