Funniest "Light bulb" joke you know?!


Question: You know what I mean...Like "How many _____'s does it take to change a light bulb?


Answers: You know what I mean...Like "How many _____'s does it take to change a light bulb?

How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes One...but it takes a long time and the light bulb has to want to change.

Q: How many divorce lawyers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: 3 - one to argue for the rights of the old lightbulb, one to argue
for the rights of the new lightbulb, and one to argue for the rights of
the light socket


Q. How many Socialist Workers Party members does it take to change
a lightbulb.
A. Four. One to change the bulb, one to write about it for "the
paper", one to sell you "the paper" and another to follow you home and
ask why you weren't at the bulb changing, if you plan to make the next
one and if you were still as committed.

Q. How many historians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. I dunno - not my period.

Q. How many revisionist historians does it take to change a
lightbulb?
A. In actual fact, against popular consensus, the lightbulb was
never actually changed.

Q. How many cultural historians does it take to change a lightbulb?
A. I am less interested in the lightbulb than the discourses
surrounding the changing.

Q. How many art historians does it take to change a lightbulb.
A. 11. One to change the lightbulb, and 5 to show earlier versions
that influenced it, and 5 to say that the changing was actually done by
the changers apprentice.

Q. How many Scottish historians does it take to change a lightbulb.
A. All of them, because they are sick of living under the shadow of
England for so long.


Q: How many singer-songwriters does it take to change a lightbulb?
A: One. They hold the bulb and the world revolves around them.

Q: how many ska kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: 6, one to drop it and 5 to pick it up! pick it up! pick it up!


Q: How many senior Presidential Aides does it take to change a light
bulb?

A: None. They're supposed to keep the President in the dark.

Q: How many Floridians does it take to change a light bulb?
A: Don't know for sure, they're still counting.
Q: How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: Two. One to change it, and another one to change it back again.
A: Four, one to change it and the other three to deny it.
Q: How many Conservative economists does it take to change a light bulb?
A: None. The invisible hand does it.
A: None. "There is no need to change the light bulb. All the conditions for illumination are in place. Recent surveys show growing confidence in the light bulb lighting up again."
A: None, because, look! It's getting brighter! It's definitely getting brighter !!!
Q: How many economists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None. If the light bulb really needed changing, market forces would have already caused it to happen.
A: Two. One to assume the ladder and one to change the bulb.
A: Two. One to assume the latter (a pun) and change the bulb.
A: None. If the government would just leave it alone, it would screw itself in.
Q: How many Liberal Democrats does it take to change a light bulb ?
A: None. "Well it's not really a question of should we change it or should we not change the light bulb, but more a question of...(blah blah waffle)"
Q: How many liberals does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: One liberal and twenty eight delegates representing all the social, economic, and ethnic communities.
A: Two-one to do it and the other to keep the first one's knee from jerking.
A: None: They can't remove the old ones since they are already part of the environment.
Q: How many social scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: They do not change light bulbs; they search for the root cause as to why the last one went out.
Q: How many conservatives does it take to change a light bulb?
A: One; after reflecting in the twilight on the merit of the previous bulb.
Q: How many US Presidents does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: None, the constitution says that only Congress can screw in light bulbs, so only Congress is responsible for the dark, which is why we need a Constitutional amendment.
A: Only one. If he can handle 250,000,000 people a day I think he can handle screwing one extra light bulb.

what's the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb? You can unscrew a lightbulb.

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

2, if they're in the same lightbulb.

Go Nikki..u shud definetly gt best answer!

How many flies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Two. The trick is how to get them in there in the first place.

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None, they will just sit in the dark and cry.
Q: How many software people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. That's a hardware problem.

A': One, but if he changes it, the whole building will probably fall down.

A'': Two. One always leaves in the middle of the project.

Q: How many hardware folks does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. That's a software problem.

A': None. They just have marketing portray the dead bulb as a feature.

Q: How many FSE's does it take to replace a dead light bulb?

A: Who can tell. FSE's are always in the dark.

A': 2. One to hold the bulb and one to pound it in (etc)

Note: FSE's are ``Field Service Engineers.''

Q': How long will it take?

A': That's indeterminate. It depends on how many dead bulbs they've brought with them.

Q'': What if you have two dead bulbs?

A'': They replace your fuse box.

Q: How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?

A: As many as you want; they're all virtual, anyway.

Q: How many APL hackers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. There's a primitive for that.

Q: How many Bell Labs Vice Presidents does it take to change a light bulb?

A: That's proprietary information. Answer available from AT&T on payment of license fee (binary only).

A': Nearly unanswerable, since the one who tries to change it usually drops it, and the others call for a planning session.

A'': Three. One to get the bulb and two to get the phone number of one of their subordinates to actually change it.

Q: How many graduate students does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only one, but it may take upwards of five years for him to get it done.

Q: How many `Real Men' does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None: `Real Men' aren't afraid of the dark.

A': None of your damn business!

Q: How many `Real Women' does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None: A `Real Woman' would have plenty of real men around to do it.

Q: How many Jewish mothers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None. (``That's all right...I'll just sit here in the dark...'')

Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Only two, but the hard part is getting them into the light bulb.

Q: How many Polacks does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Just one, but you need 6000 Russian troops in case he goes on strike!

Q: How many WASPs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Silly, WASPs don't screw in a light bulb, they screw in a hot tub.

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None: The light bulb contains the seeds of its own revolution.

Q: How many (Generals/Politicians) does it take to change a light bulb?

A: 1,000,001: One to change the bulb and 1,000,000 to rebuild civilization to the point where they need light bulbs again.

Q: How many Russian leaders does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Nobody knows. Russian leaders don't last as long as light bulbs.

Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

Q: How many pre-med students does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Five: One to change the bulb and four to pull the ladder out from under him.

Q: How many Christians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three, but they're really only one.

Q: How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

Q: How many Roman Catholics does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two. One to do the screwing, and one to hear the confession.

Q: How many jugglers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: One, but it takes at least three light bulbs.

Q: How many Feminists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: That's not funny!!!

Q': How many 'Cliffie girls does it take to change a light bulb?

A': It's ``Radcliffe Women'' and it's not funny!

Q: How many supply-siders does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. The darkness will cause the light bulb to change by itself

How many Ethiopians does it take to screw in a light bulb? All of them...

How many fuckin' men does it take to change a lightbulb?
10000000000000000000000000000000000000
'cause the're SO stupid they cant even sing their fuckin' ABC'S!



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