Any body here funny?!
Question: My dad works for the IRS and he is gonna roast the boss at his wedding so If any body has any good jokes.It is the first time the guy is getting and he is 54
Answers: My dad works for the IRS and he is gonna roast the boss at his wedding so If any body has any good jokes.It is the first time the guy is getting and he is 54
I love roasts.
They're supposed to be fun.
Some ideas I would consider:
I always liked (boss's name) since the first minute I saw him. Dressed in a (what he usually wears), nice hair, chili stains in his shirt. (You could alter that to fit what he's like)
54 years old. And finally getting married. You know, I was beginning to think he would never get married. Not because of his personality, but because he was so damn ugly. He was so ugly, he could scare a (use some kind of zany reference) Use a yo' mamma for an idea or something.
I'd recomend watching some Comedy Central Roasts just for ides on style and delivery. Have him find a style he's comfortable with and go with it.
sorry got nothin but try to look up on some website
LITTLE JOHNNY JOKE
Little Johnny sees his Daddy's car passing the playground and going into the woods. Curious, he follows the car and sees Daddy and Aunt Jane kissing.
Johnny finds this so exciting and can barely contain himself as he runs home and starts to tell his mother excitedly. "MOMMY, MOMMY, I WAS AT THE PLAYGROUND AND DADDY AND..."
Mommy tells him to slow down, but that she wants to hear the story.
So Johnny tells her. "I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went to look and Daddy was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt, then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane laid down on the seat, then Daddy..."
At this point, Mommy cut him off and said, "Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight."
At the dinner table, Mommy asks Johnny to tell his story. He describes the car into the woods, the undressing, laying down on the seat, and, "then Daddy and Aunt Jane did that same thing Mommy and Uncle Jeff used to do when Daddy was in the Army."
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Norma Lee.
Norma Lee who?
Noma Lee I dont go around telling jokes but I have an exception today
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Yo momma.
Yo momma, who?
Seriously, it's yo momma open the door!
Knock Knock!
Who's there?
Ezra.
Ezra who?
Ezra no hope for me in this world for me!
I hoped I helped
a...........
Will this be good?
A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us sitting here, years ago."
"Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining. Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous, and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs in our drinking water."
"But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding cake".
or this?
A good Irish man, John O’Reilly, met regularly with his toastmasters club. One evening they were hitting the Guinness Stout and having a contest at who could make the best toast. John O’Reilly hoisted his beer and said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life between the legs of me wife!” That won him the top prize for the best toast of the night!
He went home and told his wife, Mary, “I won the prize for the best toast of the night.” She said, “Aye, what was your toast?” John said, “Here’s to spending the rest of me life Sitting in church beside me wife.” “Oh that is very nice indeed, John!”, Mary said.
The next day Mary ran into one of John’s toasting buddies on the street corner. The man chuckled leeringly and said, “John won the prize the other night with a toast about you Mary.”
She said, “Aye and I was a bit surprised meself! You know, he’s only been there twice! Once he fell asleep and the other time I had to pull him by the ears to make him come!”