I am having a really boring afternoon at work and need something to cheer me up!!


Question: The person who makes me laugh the most gets the points!!!!!!!!!!!!


Answers: The person who makes me laugh the most gets the points!!!!!!!!!!!!

A man and a woman were asleep like two innocent babies. Suddenly, at 3 O?clock in the morning, a resounding noise came from outside...

The woman, sort of bewildered, jumps up from the bed and yells at the man:
- ****!, that must be my husband!

So the guy quickly got out of bed , scared, and naked. He jumped out the window like a crazy man, smashed himself on the ground, went through a thorn bush, then he stood up and started to run fast to his car.

Just a few minutes later he returns and tells the woman:
- I'm your husband, you ****!!!

So the woman answers:
- Oh, yeah?!! Then why were you ******* running?!! You son of a *****

I found out my dog is a locksmith last night.

I kicked its **** and it made a bolt for the door.

Arnie Shwarzenegger walks into an italian food shop and the counter assistant says...'pasta or pizza,baby'. Ten points please...as I made this one up on my own!!!

bum,tit,tit,bum,tit,tit,play the fanny organ.

im really sorry but the i cant even manage a smile myself, let alone try and make someone else laugh, for me its a miserable miserable day and im just looking forward too the weekend now

Call the day off and go window shopping.

A waitress walks up to one of her tables in a New York City
restaurant and notices that the three Japanese businessmen seated
there are furiously masturbating.

She says, "What the hell do you guys think you're doing?"

One of the Japanese men says, "We are all berry hungry."

The waitress says, "So how is whacking off in this
restaurant going to help that situation?"

Another businessman replies, "Because menu say, first come first
served."

hogans dirty joke winns!!!

last night i was at my relatives house for a party and i didnt have my glasses on so i ate what i thought was a cracker but it really happened to be dog food!!! it was out because they were just about to feed the dog!

haha!!Hope it made you laugh!!

Dear Son,

I'm writing this slow 'cause I know you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within twenty miles of home, so we moved. Won't be able to send you the address as the last Arkansas family that lived here took the numbers with them for their house, so they wouldn't have to change their address.

This place has a washing machine. The first day I put four shirts in it, pulled the chain and haven't seen 'em since.

It only rained twice this week, three days the first time and four days the second time.

The coat you wanted me to send to you, Aunt Sue said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with them heavy buttons, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets.

We got a bill from the funeral home, and it said if we didn't make the final payment on Grandma's funeral bill, up she comes.

About your sister, she had a baby this morning. I haven't found out whether if it is a boy or a girl so don't know if you are an Aunt or Uncle.

Your Uncle John fell in the whiskey vat. Some men tried to get him out, but he fought them off playfully, so he drowned. We cremated him and he burned for three days.

Three of your friends went off the bridge in a pickup. One was driving and the other two were in the back. The driver got out. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. The other 2 drowned. They couldn't get the tail gate down.

Not much more news this time. Nothing much happened. If you don't get this letter, please let me know and I will send another one.

Love, Ma

Just think for a moment of everything that is "positive" in your life..There are people right now struggling to live & losing the fight, others are sick in the hospital, some just got in a car accident..If your biggest problem is that you are bored, you are actually "Lucky" .... think about it............



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