Warning to ALL men with Delusions?!
Question: Workplace Hazardous Materials Information Sheet
Substance: Woman
Chemical system: Wo
manufacturer: God
Typical size: Average weight 115 lbs; specimens can vary from 90-200 lbs.
Occurrence: large quantities found in urban areas and shopping malls
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface tension – soft and warm.
2. Exposed surfaces usually cosmetically enhanced.
3. Boils at nothing.
4. Freezes without reason.
5. Melts with special reason.
6. Flavor initially sweet, becomes bitter if used incorrectly.
7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to common ore.
8. Yields to pressure if applied to specific points.
9. Sometimes enlarges alarmingly with age.
10. Even brief linking with male substance can cause substance to reproduce with marked physical and mental changes.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has affinity for gold, silver and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. Highly volatile for reasons not clearly understood.
4. Verbal activity greatly increased by alcohol saturation.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known. (See HAZARDS #3).
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental.
2. Relatively brief exposure can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Pleasurable companion until legally owned.
SUBSTANCE VERIFICATION:
1. Pure specimen turns bright pink when observed in natural state.
2. Turns green when compared to better specimen.
HAZARDS:
1. May explode spontaneously without cause.
2. Illegal to possess more than one specimen at a time.
3. Avoid specimen contact with plastic credit cards.
Answers: Workplace Hazardous Materials Information Sheet
Substance: Woman
Chemical system: Wo
manufacturer: God
Typical size: Average weight 115 lbs; specimens can vary from 90-200 lbs.
Occurrence: large quantities found in urban areas and shopping malls
PHYSICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Surface tension – soft and warm.
2. Exposed surfaces usually cosmetically enhanced.
3. Boils at nothing.
4. Freezes without reason.
5. Melts with special reason.
6. Flavor initially sweet, becomes bitter if used incorrectly.
7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to common ore.
8. Yields to pressure if applied to specific points.
9. Sometimes enlarges alarmingly with age.
10. Even brief linking with male substance can cause substance to reproduce with marked physical and mental changes.
CHEMICAL PROPERTIES:
1. Has affinity for gold, silver and precious stones.
2. Absorbs great quantities of expensive substances.
3. Highly volatile for reasons not clearly understood.
4. Verbal activity greatly increased by alcohol saturation.
5. Most powerful money-reducing agent known. (See HAZARDS #3).
COMMON USES:
1. Highly ornamental.
2. Relatively brief exposure can be a great aid to relaxation.
3. Pleasurable companion until legally owned.
SUBSTANCE VERIFICATION:
1. Pure specimen turns bright pink when observed in natural state.
2. Turns green when compared to better specimen.
HAZARDS:
1. May explode spontaneously without cause.
2. Illegal to possess more than one specimen at a time.
3. Avoid specimen contact with plastic credit cards.
go get em bri,
starred
whoa man!!! easy
i love this im printing a copy lol
ha you getting slightly better.
this ones funny- lol i remember someone emailed me this one- i love it!!!
It sounds to us that you are describing your boyfriend with all the above statements. Got Herpes 2, yet ???
average wieght 115 pounds?? yeah, in china. whats your question?
doesnt look like christin has a sense of humor.
Funny...except for that 115 pound average....that would be true if you were talking about high school seniors....
adult women are heavier than that.....
I'm a woman but that made me laugh. I see you know all about MSDS!! I'm starring this one....a lot of it is true -- too funny :)
WTF is this shiite? This is a Q and A site, not a garbage dumb for random spam.
Funny... Except for the parts about 'owning'...
Average weight of a woman is not 115 lbs. If you consider women to be females who have gone through puberty. And the other weight specifications are a lot off too.
Also, since you seem to be going for the All-women-are-gold-digging-bitches thing, you may as well also go for the oh-so-kind Common uses of Cleaning aid, and Stimulant.
saw this as a COSHH sheet. made me laugh then as it does now. well done for typing it all in !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!...
Funny! Good one! 10!
totally true bitter if used incorrectly (i hate being lied to or cheated on). we r not a ornaments tho.
I got one for YOU...
Substance: Man
Chemical System: Bloke`
Manufracuture: Whoever
Typical Size: Average weight: 160. Sometimes ranging beyond 400+. But hey, most of em' are fat, and still have nerve to make fun of fat women.
Physical Properties:
1.) Surface Tension: Hard and hairy
2.)Explosed surfaces usually rough and leathery
3.) Boils if mating ritual has not been fulfilled in nearly two days.
4.) When set at freezing temperatures, gentailia may shrink.
5.) For whatever reason, substance RARELY melts even under the HOTTEST of temperatures.
6.) Flavor initially reminiscent of old gym socks and sweat and grime.
7.) Substance is NOT pure and are thought of as "queer" if the male substance has failed to lose it's virgin qualities by it's 14th year in existence.
8.) Keeps pressure inside until they do something reckless and stupid.
9.) Even with age, those sperm keep on swimming
10.) Breif linking with female substance is ALL they need. Don't expect a call back.
Chemical Properties:
1.) Has an affinity for Fantasy Football, beer and the woman substance. Oh yeah... and being exposed to porn till the brain liquifies. The liquid then becomes a substance called doofusicidarbon... which can then be compared to a chimp specimen, but that comes later.
2.) Absorbs great quantaties of booze, all the while wondering why they have a beer belly.
3.) Claims the female substance possesses more faults, when they're faluts are UP there.
4.) Inbred violent behavior greatly increased by alcohol saturation.
5.)Most power-hungry outlets known.
Common Uses:
1.) When women tire of dildos or their girlfriends for a little while. The man substance is merely optional.
2.) Mostly ranging from a sucker to pump our gas to a free meal.
3.) Believe they rule and OWN the world... even the woman substance. The woman substance is like livestock to the male substance.
Substance Verification:
1.) Pure specimen may hoot and holler at complete female strangers in hopes of a good time.
2.)Turns green when compared to another specimen's better endowed equipment.
Hazards
1.) These specimens tend to be stalkers, wife beaters, rapists, murderers, crooks, theifs, gangsters and jail birds... GET INVOLVED AT YOUR OWN RISK!!!!
2.) Get to know them better before it's too late to return the "package"
3.) Possesses the highest chance of self destruction (suicide.)
Whoever let WOMEN, DOCTORS, FORMER RACIAL MINORITIES, LAWYERS, AND TEACHERS VOTE, given the 1918 Harrison Act, Volstead Act, Vatican, Mexico City, Windsor, etc royalty favors violations to leave unregulated militias illegally interested and proximate is an IDIOT.
He or she must have voted a LOT, since women are seditious, WITHOUT LEGALIZING DRUGS, SEX, PROSTITUTION, KINKY PARTIES, CAMEL-RACES, ROCK'N'ROLL, and everything, OR CLOSE YOUR BORDERS. DO NOT LET WOMEN OR ANY OF THEIR TAINTED ANTI-PROFESSIONS OR FOREIGNERS VOTE OR HAVE EQUAL PROPERTY RIGHTS, but look at California, with all the foreigners and Stanford, giving orders.
18 U.S.C. 2384, knocking at your door, HONEYS. No marriages, if you don't lose the SENATE, somewhere, AND YOUR FOREIGN BOYFRIENDS, right now, LaLa-Po-HOs!
Tinky and DipSea are likely diaper-girls, fatter than Lisa the AstroNut, I bet!
One in eight US residents, CITIZENS OR NOT, are residents of the stupid state, CALIFORNIA, formerly Golden. So how does all the foreign and out-of-state media run all this?
Like the TITANIC and BRITTANIC, down to the bottom, like the TWIN TOWERS of 9/11/2001, deja-stinking-vu, GIRLS!
Seen Leo in the movies, on TV? Can YOU swim that good?
Girls? The DOCTORS onboard the BRITTANIC speeded the sinking, by leaving the portholes open, AFTER the mining.
Got a WRECK, like I-raq? Yes, you have! ONE gal actually survived the TITANIC, to enroll as orderly on the BRITTANIC, and almost got whacked, by the propellors, which lifted on port, thanks to the idiot docs, letting water in. The port propellor hacked TWO LIFEBOATS and occupants to shreds, before the lady in the drama jumped overboard!
Don't enlist, GIRLS. They dove to the wreck and goofed the dives, for History Channel! You cannot do a project like THAT, without a lot of illegal costs, messing the project. Naturally, the girly ways are getting around. Everybody thinks we can pay for all kinds of wack, LIKE DD-GIRLS, eh.
Hazardous Materials Information Sheet
Substance (or rather lack of): Man
Physical Properties:
1. Cold and (if lucky) hard
2. Exposed surfaces should be cosmetically enhanced
3. Freezes when needs are met
4. Melts with enough beer and Monday night football
5. Flavor initially pungent, occasionally becomes sweet when wants another beer or sex
6. Yields to pressure if wants something (see 5)
7. Certain parts tend to not enlarge with age
Chemical Properties:
1. Often runs hot and cold
2. Highly reactive when presented with the words, love, commitment and children
3. Most powerful mood-reducing agent known to female substance
Common Uses:
1. Sperm donor
2. Occasionally buys drinks at Happy Hour (see 6)
3. Substitute for more fulfilling activities (shopping, having fun with friends, almost anything else)
4. Mildly interesting companion until needs are met.
Substance Verification:
1. Commonly disappears when pressure applied
Hazards:
1. Can cause lack of sleep, irritability, loss of appetite, low self-esteem, and frequent tearfulness (see DSM-IV criteria for causes of mood disorders)
2. Tends to revert to infantile behavior when needs are not met (see #s 5 and 6 under physical properties)
3. Tends to revert to base, animal behavior around species of its own kind, especially in large numbers
youre going down into a slump if you ask me but technacly you are lol yeah im not funny its a question in poitics
I'm a woman and i found that hilarious!!!
Especially this one: 7. Found in various states of purity from virgin metal to common ore.
You get a shiny star for that!!!!!
nice.
true .lol
hahahaha
Star,loved reading them and thanks for posting.
luvvvv it 10