Witty one liners - funny or not?!


Question: I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.
Some days you're the dog, some days the hydrant.
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
If all is not lost, where is it?
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.
It was all so different before everything changed.
Nostalgia isn't what is used to be.
Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.
A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.


Answers: I started out with nothing...I still have most of it.
Some days you're the dog, some days the hydrant.
I finally got my head together, now my body is falling apart.
Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
If all is not lost, where is it?
It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
If at first you do succeed, try not to look too astonished.
The first rule of holes: If you are in one, stop digging.
I went to school to become a wit, only got halfway through.
It was all so different before everything changed.
Nostalgia isn't what is used to be.
Old programmers never die. They just terminate and stay resident.
A day without sunshine is like a day in Seattle.
I wish the buck stopped here. I could use a few.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere.
Living on Earth is expensive, but it does include a free trip round the sun.
The only time the world beats a path to your door is if you're in the bathroom.
If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.
Lead me not into temptation (I can find the way myself).
If you're living on the edge, make sure you're wearing your seat belt.
An unbreakable toy is useful for breaking other toys.
A closed mouth gathers no feet.
It's not hard to meet expenses...they're everywhere.
Jury: Twelve people who determine which client has the better attorney.
The only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth.
Old people shouldn't eat health foods. They need all the preservatives they can get.

How do type that so quick * again

It is true, so many one-liners together make a novel.

hahahaha

some are true, and some even funny *hehehe*

true and funny.

some are good most very funny>>>>>>>>>>star

star award

Nice!

wow those are funny xxx lol xxx

thats just like my life, pmsl hun,

star time

xxxxxxxxxxxxx



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