A selection of Blonde jokes, funny or not?!


Question: Golf Balls
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to of all people a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
Never-the-less, the blonde continued to look at him thought-fully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"


Parked Car
Norman and his blonde wife live in Calgary. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must par-" then the electric power goes out.
Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman says "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Jumpers
A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building.
Suddenly, the officer notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"
The blonde answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings..."

Dummy
A ventriloquist is touring clubs in Florida. With his dummy on his knees, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the audience stands on her chair and shouts, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and from reaching our full potential!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist starts to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little b@stard sitting on your knee!"


Answers: Golf Balls
A man entered the bus with both of his front pockets full of golf balls, and sat down next to of all people a beautiful, you guessed it, blonde. The blonde kept looking quizzically at him and his bulging pockets. Finally, after many such glances from her, he said, "It's golf balls."
Never-the-less, the blonde continued to look at him thought-fully and finally, not being able to contain her curiosity any longer, asked, "Does it hurt as much as tennis elbow?"


Parked Car
Norman and his blonde wife live in Calgary. One winter morning while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car.
A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says "We are expecting 10 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through."
Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again.
The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today. You must par-" then the electric power goes out.
Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snowplow can get through?"
With the love and understanding in his voice like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman says "Why don't you just leave it in the garage this time?"

Jumpers
A police officer arrives at an accident scene where apparently three blondes have leaped to their death from a very tall building.
Suddenly, the officer notices that one is still breathing so he approaches her and asks, "Why did you three beautiful girls leap out of that building?"
The blonde answers in a very weak voice, "We wanted to try out our new maxi-pads, with wings..."

Dummy
A ventriloquist is touring clubs in Florida. With his dummy on his knees, he's going through his usual dumb blonde jokes when a blonde woman in the audience stands on her chair and shouts, "I've heard enough of your stupid blonde jokes. What does the color of a person's hair have to do with her worth as a human being? It's guys like you who keep women like me from being respected at work and from reaching our full potential!"
The embarrassed ventriloquist starts to apologize, when the blonde yells, "You stay out of this, mister! I'm talking to that little b@stard sitting on your knee!"

hehe funny:D

maxi pad with wings!! LOL!!

lol,lol,lol. 10/10. excellent jokes.

All funny!

:) funny (i like em')

Thanks those are great. lol

Omg, lol! Yeah, it's definitely funny...

i liked them all except for the 2nd to last one because i have heard it before. other than that they made me, a blonde, snicker.

LOL

Not really...

yer that is rather funni, i like the last one the best

i like the last 3.lol

Not that funny. I liked the one about the guy with a blond wife who really fancies brunettes - he was looking for a woman who would dye for him!

Ha ha ha.!!!
Excellent jokes there so 10/10.!!!
Got us guys at work laughing.!!!
Cheers.!!!

the first and last are good but leave the other ones behind.

Quite good ones,,,,,,,,

here is one for you!!!

A blonde walks into a library and says, quite loudly, to the librarian "Hi Id like a Big Mac a large fry and a medium soft drink" The librarian looks confused and says "uh ma'am, this is a library." And the blonde looks embarrassed and WHISPERS Oh im sorry Id like a Big Mac a large fry and a medium soft drink"

At least two very good new blond jokes.

A blonde backs into a ditch, it puts a small dent in her car. She stops by a body shop to get a quote, the guys behind the counter thought they would be funny and tell her how to fix it herself. They told her to blow on the tail pipe and it will pop (the dent) right out. She goes home and tries it and it does'nt work. She calls her blonde freind over to help and and she watches her try to fix it one time and says SILLY YOU GOTTA ROLL THE WINDOWS UP FOR THAT TO WORK!!!!

I like jumpers a lot but the other ones I have already heard that's good so keep sending them ok? ok they are really funny we have a whole crowd and they all love them

ha i loved the last one lol

starred 10/10 x

=]

i like the dummy and jumpers! hahha XP the other ones are kinda dumb though and i dont get the first one.

I'm blond.... but they're still quite funny...
Try this one, it's a guy joke.... really old one

Two men and a woman stand at the edge of a raging river of innevitable death (only innevitable if you're stupid enough to dive in). Across the river is a city of gold. They find a Genie in a lamp.... et cetera
"Upon finding me I shall grant you three wishes... since there are three of you, you may have a wish each." It goes without saying that they figured that if they wished for the means to reach the other side, they wouldn't need more wishes so they didn't make a deal out of it.
The first cam forth, he said "I wish for double my streangth to swim across the river to the city of gold."
The wish was granted, he dived into the river and started swimming. He struggled against the current then, a third of the way there he sank under and faded away.
The second came forth, he said "I wish for four times my streangth."
The wish was granted, he dived into the river and struggled against the current then two thirds across he fell under and faded away.
the woman had been watching and considering her wish, then shrugged and said. "Ummm, I can't decide on my wish yet... Can i think about it while I cross the bridge to the city of gold?"

Excellent

Those are great! I got a kick out of them!

hahah those are all hilarious :-]


thanks for makin my day a bit better!

they are rude i used to be a blond (i dyed my hair) and i am and was a very inteligent person i am in 2 honors classes in school and it just makes me sick hearing those dumb blond jokes i think it just shows that the person telling them is a stereo type and the people agreeing with the person telling them are stereo types also the reason i dyed my hair is so people at school would stop calling me a dumb blond last year i was in pre algebra and this one guy said to me "hey why r u in here did u get lost on ur way to the elementry school blondie" so i punched him and said "no" i got a 3 day suspension but it was worth it

they are absolutely hilarious!!

I liked the Dummy one the best. Thanx! lol.



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