No Offence Intended. What's your best/worst old people joke ?!


Question: Mine.
Q. What is 40 foot long and smells of pee ?
A. A congar in an old peoples home.


Answers: Mine.
Q. What is 40 foot long and smells of pee ?
A. A congar in an old peoples home.

http://uk.answers.yahoo.com/question/ind... posted this one earlier.

An elderly couple out for an evening stroll in the old neighborhood end up sitting in a pub, which was their old hangout in days gone by..

The husband leans over and asks his wife, "Do you remember the first time we had sex together over fifty years ago? We went behind this very tavern and I made love to you against the back fence."

“Yes, she says, "I remember it well"

"Ok," he says, "How about taking a stroll around there again and we can do it for old time's sake?"

"Oh Charlie, you old devil, that sounds like a crazy, but very good idea!"

Mean while..there's a police officer sitting in the next booth listening to all this, and having a chuckle to himself.

He thinks, "I've got to see these two old-timers trying to go at it.

I'll just keep an eye on them so there's no trouble."

So he follows them. They walk haltingly along, leaning on each other for support, aided by walking sticks.

Finally they get to the back of the tavern. The old lady lifts her skirt and the old man drops his trousers. As she leans against the fence, the old man moves in. Suddenly they erupt into the most furious sex that the watching Policeman has ever seen. This goes on for about forty minutes.

Finally, they both collapse panting on the ground.

The policeman is amazed. He thinks he has learned something about Life that he didn't know. After about half an hour of lying on the ground recovering, the old couple struggle to their feet and put their clothes back on. The Policeman, still watching thinks, this was truly amazing I've got to ask them what their secret is.

As the couple passes, he says to them, "Excuse me, but that was something else. You must've had a fantastic sex life together. Is there some sort of secret to this?"

The old man says, "Fifty years ago that wasn't an electric fence."

what is 40 foot long and smells of pee,


the front row at a rolling stones concert.....

Honesty bf/9

An elderly married couple go to the doctor. The doctor tells the man he needs a urine and stool sample. The old man who is deaf turns to his wife and asks what the doctor said.
She replies he said you should leave your underpants with the receptionist !

weee are not amused .lol

old couple sat in church.during service wife whispers,: i just done a silent fart, what should i do? hubby says for gods sake woman switch on your hearing aid.

Mine isn't actually a joke, this is a real dedication that I heard on a local radio station:

DJ: Hi you're through to <local station>, what dedication would you like? and what's the record

Female caller: It's for my Gran, it's here 85th Birthday. The record that I would like you to play is Ronan Keating, "If tomorrow never comes"


I laughed so hard I nearly crashed my car



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