Is this funny to you?!
Question: best answer will go to the one who submits the best joke as an answer
An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
''Well, now,'' says the old lady, ''I guess I would like to be really rich.''
*** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
''And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess.''
*** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.
''Your third wish?'' asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. ''Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?'' she asks.
*** POOF ***
There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, ''Bet you're sorry you had me neutered.''
Answers: best answer will go to the one who submits the best joke as an answer
An old lady sits on her front porch, rocking away the last days of her long life, when all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.
''Well, now,'' says the old lady, ''I guess I would like to be really rich.''
*** POOF *** Her rocking chair turns to solid gold.
''And, gee, I guess I wouldn't mind being a young, beautiful princess.''
*** POOF *** She turns into a beautiful young woman.
''Your third wish?'' asks the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman's cat wanders across the porch in front of them. ''Ooh - can you change him into a handsome prince?'' she asks.
*** POOF ***
There before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine. She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak, he saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear, ''Bet you're sorry you had me neutered.''
It made me laugh...lol
Here's one or two...i like
There was this little boy about 12 years old walking down the sidewalk dragging a flattened frog on a string behind him. He came up to the doorstep of a house of ill repute and knocked on the door.
When the Madam answered it, she saw the little boy and asked what he wanted.
He said, "I want to have sex with one of the women inside. I have the money to buy it, and I'm not leaving until I get it."
The Madam figured, why not, so she told him to come in. Once in, she told him to pick any of the girls he liked.
He asked, "Do any of the girls have any diseases?"
Of course the Madam said no. He said, "I heard all the men talking about having to get shots after making love with Amber. THAT'S the girl I want."
Since the little boy was so adamant and had the money to pay for it, the Madam told him to go to the first room on the right.. He headed down the hall, still dragging the squashed frog.
Ten minutes later he came back, still dragging the frog, paid the Madam, and headed out the door.
The Madam stopped him and asked, "Why did you pick the only girl in the place with a disease, instead of one of the others?"
He said, "Well, if you must know, tonight when I get home, my parents are going out to a restaurant to eat, leaving me at home with a baby-sitter. After they leave, my baby-sitter will have sex with me because she just happens to be very fond of cute little boys. She will then get the disease that I just caught. When Mom and Dad get back, Dad will take the baby-sitter home. On the way, he'll jump the baby-sitter's bones, and he'll catch the disease.
Then when Dad gets home from the baby-sitter's, he and Mom will go to bed and have sex, and Mom will catch it.
In the morning after Dad's gone to work, the Milkman will deliver the milk, have a quickie with Mom and catch the disease, and HE'S the son-of-a-***** who ran over my FROG.
And this is the other one:
Two men are in court on drug charges.
The judge says, "If, over the weekend, you
can persuade enough
people to give up drugs, I'll let you two off."
Back in court on Monday, the judge asks for
their results.
"I persuaded 10 people to give up drugs forever," the first man
says.
That's great," the judge replies. "What did you tell
them?"
I drew two circles; one big, one small. I told them
the big circle
was their brain before drugs, and the little circle was their brain after drugs
The other defendant says, "I got 100 people to give up drugs!"
One hundred!
"How?"asks the judge
Well, I drew the same two circles. I pointed to the small
circle and said
''This is your asshole before
prison...........''
noy really try again!
cheaa!
Ah! I see, said the blind man!
What do blondes and beer bottles have in common?
They are both empty from the neck up!
why is that the cat does not had a sex organ???
better one next time
that's cool!!!
funny!
Yes that's funny. Ha ha!
NICE!! Exquisit - Yours was sweet!! (The frog joke)
I loved yours!
Here is my entry:
One day in the future, OJ Simpson has a heart attack and dies.
He immediately goes to Hell, where the devil is waiting for him.
"I dont know what to do here" says the devil. "You are on my list, but I have no room for you. You definately have to stay here, so I'll tell you what Im going to do. I've got some folks here who weren't quite as bad as you. I'll let one of them go, but you have to take their place. I'll even let You decide who leaves.
OJ thought that sounded pretty good, so the devil opened the door to the first room.
In it was Ted Kennedy and a large pool of water, Ted kept diving in, and surfacing, empty handed. Over and over he dove in and surfaced with nothing. Such was fate in Hell.
"No," OJ said, "I dont think so, Im not a good swimmer and dont think i could do that all day long."
The Devil led him to the next room. In it was Al Gore with a sledgehammer and a room full of rocks. All he did was swing that hammer, time after time. "No, this is no good, Ive got this problem with my shoulder. I would be in constant agony if all I could do was break rocks all day.", commented OJ.
The Devil opened a third door. Through it, OJ saw Bill Clinton, lying on the bed, his arms tied over his head, and his legs restrained in a spread eagle pose. Bent over him was Monica Lewinsky, doing what she does best.
OJ looked at this in shocked disbelief, and finally said, "Yeah man, I can handle this"
The Devil smiled and said..........
"Ok Monica your free to go"