Anyone got any award winning jokes?!


Question: My family and I get together a couple times a year at the holidays, get sauced and tell all kinds of jokes. There is no limit to the tastefulness, or lack thereof, for these jokes. 10 points to the person with the funniest joke.


Answers: My family and I get together a couple times a year at the holidays, get sauced and tell all kinds of jokes. There is no limit to the tastefulness, or lack thereof, for these jokes. 10 points to the person with the funniest joke.

I don't know if this is award-winning, but it's my favorite joke.

There was a blonde and a lawyer on a plane. The lawyer asks the blonde, "do you want to play a game?" and the blonde says "no" and goes to sleep. Later, the lawyer asks the blonde again if she wants to play a game, though this time he adds, " I'll ask a question, if you don't know, you give me $5, then you ask me a question, if I get it wrong, I will give you $500" so the blonde plays the game. The lawyer then asks how many miles from the sun till the Earth. The blonde doesn't know, so she reaches into her purse and pulls out a $5 bill and hands it to him. Then the blonde asks, "what goes up a hill with 3 legs and down with 2?" The lawyer looks it up on his laptop, calls his buddy and his work. Finally he gives her the $500. When they are getting off the plane, the lawyer asks, "so what does go up a hill with 3 legs and down with 2?" The blonde reaches into her purse, pulls out a $5 bill, and hands it to the lawyer.

A Secretary

A man is looking to hire a secretary. He narrows his search down to three candidates. Deciding to test their honesty, he brings them all back for a final interview. Before they arrive, he places a hundred dollar bill on one of the guest chairs. After a few questions, he excuses himself for a moment. When he returns, he finds the money is still there. He does the same thing with the second candidate, and again the money remains. The third candidate, however, takes the money.
So, which of the candidates did he hire?
A. The one with the big boobs.



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