Could enyone tell me something funny?!
Question: i could yous a giggle or two so if you don't mind could you tell me something funny
Answers: i could yous a giggle or two so if you don't mind could you tell me something funny
If anyone ever tells you you're short, reply:
"I'm not short, I'm just really far away"
I'm tall, but I say that in defense of my short friends and it always get a laugh. Hope you laughed as well.
www.comedycentral.com
go to joke of the day
my dog died
I could
Look in the mirror!
i have a little penis jkjkjk
Q. How do you fix a broken Jack-o-lantren?
A. With a pumpkin patch!!!!!
HAHAHAHA I crack me up!!
Hey pooter girl, your spelling is funny- yous? Ouch.
So...Donald Rumsfeld is briefing George Bush in the
Oval Office.
"Oh and finally, sir, three Brazilian soldiers were
killed in Iraq today."
Bush goes pale, his jaw hanging open in stunned
disbelief. He buries his
face in his hands, muttering "My God...My God".
"Mr. President," says Cheney, "we lose soldiers all
the time, and it's
terrible. But I've never seen you so upset. What's the
matter?"
Bush looks up and says..."How many is a Brazilian?"
I've put this on here before -- hopefully you haven't read it....
im hungry for macoronie and cheese
once when i was young I fell inside the portable potty toilet. lol :)
Once i went to my friends place for a sleep-over & my friend told a freeky story & after the freeky story finished we were really scared & wouldn't get out of bed till the next morning!
:P :D 8B
well ... i could SHOW you something funny
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6a0M0Z3jW...
depends on how funny you think random things are
why cant dinosaurs talk
because theyre all dead lol my daughter told me that
a pirate walks into a bar with steering wheel around his penis, and the bar tender says, "hey you have a steering wheel on you penis," and the pirate says, "arrrrrggg, its been drivin me nuts"
there were 3 ducks and they each did something bad so they went to court and the judge asked whats your name and what did u do and the duck said my name is quack and i was blowing bubbles so the judge asks the second duck whats your name and what did you do and the duck said my name is quack and i was blowing bubbles so the judge asked the third duck what is your name and what did you do and the duck said my name is bubbles and quack and quack blew me
Ok
Twoblonds walking down the street. One saise Look at that dog with one eye the other one covers up one eye and says ok where. Ok another one.
A car was driving down the street when all of a sudden it started swerving. The car was going back and forth till someone with a cell phone called the police. A police officer pulled the car over. A blonde rolls down the window and says, " Officer, I'm so glad you are here. I saw a tree in the road, then I saw another. So I had to swerve to keep from hitting it!" The officer looks at her, then says, "Ma'am, that's your air freshener."
Q: Why was the blonde upset when she got her Driver's License?
A: Because she got an "F" in sex.
Q: What goes VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH, VROOM, SCREECH?
A: A blonde going through a flashing red light.
There were three women, a Brunette, a Red Head, and a Blonde. They all worked together at an office.
Every day they noticed that their boss left work a little early. So one day they met together and decided that today when the boss left, they would all leave early too.
The boss left and so did they. The Brunette went home and straight to bed so could get an early start the next morning. The Red Head went home to get in a quick work out before her dinner date. The Blonde went home and walked into the bedroom. She opens the door slowly and saw her husband in bed with her boss, so she shut the door and left.
The next day, the Brunette and the Red Head are talking about going home early again. They ask the Blonde if she wants to leave early again.
"No," she says, "yesterday I nearly got caught!"
Anally -- occurring yearly
Artery -- study of paintings
Bacteria -- back door of cafeteria
Barium -- what doctors do when treatment fails
Bowel -- letter like A.E.I.O.U
Caesarian section -- district in Rome
Cat scan -- searching for kitty
Cauterize -- Made eye contact with her
Colic -- sheep dog
Coma -- a punctuation mark
Congenital -- friendly
D&C -- where Washington is
Diarrhea -- journal of daily events
Dilate -- to live long
Enema -- not a friend
Fester -- quicker
Fibula -- a small lie
Genital -- non-Jewish
G.I. Series -- soldiers' ball game
Grippe -- suitcase
Hangnail -- coat hook
Impotent -- distinguished, well known
Intense pain -- torture in a teepee
Labour pain -- got hurt at work
Medical staff -- doctor's cane
Morbid -- higher offer
Nitrate -- cheaper than day rate
Node -- was aware of
Outpatient -- person who had fainted
Pap smear -- fatherhood test
Pelvis -- cousin of Elvis
Post operative -- letter carrier
Protein -- favouring young people
Rectum -- damn near killed 'em
Recovery room -- place to do upholstery
Rheumatic -- amorous
Scar -- rolled tobacco leaf
Secretion -- hiding anything
Seizure -- Roman emperor
Serology -- study of knighthood
Tablet -- small tablet
Terminal Illness -- sickness at airport
Tibia -- country in North Africa
Tumor -- an extra pair
Urine -- opposite of you're out
Varicose -- located nearby
Vein -- conceited
the blonde went into the hairdresser to get a hair cut.
"hi i'd like a hair cut"
"ok" so they go to a chair and the blonde won't take off her headphones.
"ma'am you have to take off your headphones or else can't cut your hair"
"i can't! i'll die!"
"then i cna't cut your hair" so the blonde walks out. about 2 months later the same thing happens.
"you need to take off your headphones!"
"i cna't i will die!"
"then leave." so she left. she came back one month later.
"i really need a hair cut."
"you really need to take off your headphones."
"fine." so the hairdresser left to go get her supplies nad comes back and the blonde is dead, her head phones are on her lap. the lady picks up the headphones. she hears
"breath in, breath out, breath in, breath out"
1. Short Joke
At a cocktail party, one woman said to another,
"Aren't you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger?"
"Yes, I am. I married the wrong man."
2. Long Joke
A priest is walking down the street one day when he notices our Little Johnny trying to press a doorbell on a house across the street. However, Little Johnny is very small and the doorbell is too high for him to reach.
After watching Little Johnny’s efforts for some time, the priest steps smartly across the street, walks up behind the little fellow and, placing his hand kindly on the child’s shoulder leans over and gives the doorbell a solid ring.
Crouching down to the child’s level, the priest smiles benevolently and asks, “And now what, my little man?”
To which Little Johnny replies, “Now we run!”