Joke help for britains got talent?!
Question: i realli need help. i signed up 4 britains got talent. i want to do comedi. but i cant make good jokes no more. plz give me tips or website(S) 100 points to best answer
Answers: i realli need help. i signed up 4 britains got talent. i want to do comedi. but i cant make good jokes no more. plz give me tips or website(S) 100 points to best answer
Do you find it reassuring that doctors do what they call practice?
The Old Ones Are Always Best:
Old actors never die, they just drop a part.
Old bankers never die, they just lose interest.
Old cardiac surgeons never die, they just get bypassed.
Old deans never die, they just lose their faculties.
Old Egyptian tourists never die, they just go senile.
Old farmers never die, they just go to seed.
Old geometery teachers never die, they just go off on a tangent.
Old hookers never die, they just get laid off.
Old investors never die, they just roll over.
Old journalists never die, they just get depressed.
Old kings never die, they just get throne away.
Old lawyers never die, they just lose their appeal.
Old magicians never die, they just disappear.
Old nitpickers never die, they just feel lousy.
Old pilots never die, they just go to a higher plane.
Old quarry workers never die, they just get blasted.
Old robbers never die, they just steal away.
Old sculptors never die, they just lose their marbles.
Old tree surgeons never die, they just pine away.
Old upholsterers never die, they just don't recover.
Old veterinarians never die, they just go to the dogs.
Old wheelfitters never die, they just get retired.
And The Plural Is...:
One Englishman, a bore; two Englishmen, a club; three Englishmen, an empire.
One Irishman, a drinker; two Irishmen, a fight; three Irishmen, partition.
One Frenchman, a lover; two Frenchmen, an affair; three Frenchmen, a ménage.
One German, a burgher; two Germans, a beer-parlour; three Germans, an army.
One American, a businessman; two Americans, a market; three Americans, a cartel.
One Italian, a tenor; two Italians, a duet; three Italians, an opera.
One Russian, a anarchist; two Russians, a chess game; three Russians, a revolution.
One Japanese, a gardener; two Japanese, a cult; three Japanese, electronics.
Fun With a Pun:
Do bakers with a sense of humour bake wry bread?
Why do people live in France? They have nothing Toulouse.
How do we know Farmer Brown was good at his job? He was outstanding in his field.
The politician had to slash the budet, so he held a fund razor.
The farmer decided to get a cow, and milk the idea for all it was worth.
There was a ghost at the hotel so they called for an inn spectre.
Two parts of the eye were discussing which made better puns. Their debate raged until one said to the other, 'You, my friend, are simply the pupil. I am by far the cornea.'
Choose Your Words With Care:
'I'm not wearing my wedding ring,' I said with abandon.
'My investments are worth more every day,' said the specultor appreciately.
'I'm losing my hair!' he bawled.
'I'm the presenter of The South Bank Show,' Melvyn bragged.
'I love the novels of T. H. Lawrence,' said the lady chattily.
'You must be my host,' he guessed.
'I love camping,' he said intently.
'Do you call this a musical?' asked Les miserably.
'I love hot dogs,' said the man with relish.
'Your flies are undone,' was the zippy rejoinder.
u cant give 100 points..
no funny
if you cant think of jokes dont do it!! try something else ya no they ask for diffrent jokes every episode!! good luck! you'll need it
also bloody hell do you think were stupid? ya cant give 100 points srry
haha im not british but prrdy good huh?
100 points?