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Answers: Edward C. lurking around your house.

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knock knock

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A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

"Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!"
She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,
"If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?"
The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.
The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, "157."

The farmer was amazed - she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

"If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?"

thanks for the points

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Hitler walks into a bar and goes to a man. The man goes " arent you dead?" Hitler goes " I've came back to kill 6,000 jews, and a clown." The man goes " why a clown?" Hilter goes " See, no-one cares about those damn jews!"

Me hopes this cheers you up some, feel betters :( cheerup buttercup <3 :]

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Two Nuns in the dormitory when the lights fused leaving them in the dark. " Where's the candle" said the first Nun.
" Yes , doesn't it" said the second Nun.

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Mark, a loving husband, forgot his anniversary & his wife, Joi, was really mad at him. She told him, "Tomorrow morning I expect to find a gift in the driveway that goes 0 to 160 in under 6 seconds, AND IT BETTER BE THERE." The next morning, Mark got up really early before work. When Joi woke up 2 hrs. later she looked outside. There was a small package in the middle of the driveway. She brought the gift inside. She opened it & found a brand new scale. Mark is not yet well enough to have visitors.

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a blond ran into the DR. office exclaiming I'm dieing.the nurse took her to the exam room where the DR. was waiting.she told the DR. she couldn't hold down food,was sick to her stomach,dizzy and loosing her strength.after the exam the DR. left shaking his head solemnly.a couple of minutes later the nurse came in and took blood and urine samples and left. the poor blond waited for 15 min. then the DR. came back in and declared it's as i feared.oh what the blond asked am i going to die as i feared?how long do i have? no,no the DR. said YOUR PREGNANT!oh my said the blond,we have to do more tests. the DR. told her there where no other tests to do and she replied oh yes we must do a D.N.A. i have to know if it's mine.

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bonjour! Tu t'appelle commo?
Je soif. Je voudrais un jounge d'honge

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A rich guy was looking for excitement so he decided to put an ad in the newspaper.
The ad said, "I will give $10,000 to any person that can make my elephant jump."

So the next day, people came from all over the world to try to get this elephant to jump.
There were even hypnotists who tried, but no one could get that elephant to jump.

Then a guy drives up in a blue Corvette and said, "Are you the guy with the ad?"
The rich guy replied yes. Then the guy asked, "Is that your elephant?" "Yes." The rich man replies.
Then the guy went back to his car. He returned with a 2 by 4.
He walked behind the elephant and hit the elephant right in his balls! That elephant jumped a good 8 feet in the air.
The rich guy, amazed, handed him the $10,000. The guy then got in his Corvette and drove off.
The next week the rich guy decides to put another ad in the paper.
The ad said, "I will give anyone $20,000 to make my elephant turn his head from side to side."

The man had seen his elephant's head move up and down but never from side to side.
People come from all over the world to try to get this elephant to make his head turn from side to side.
No one could do it. When everyone left, the same guy in the same Corvette drives up.

He walked up to the elephant and said, "Do you remember me?"
The elephant nodded his head up and down. Then the man asked, "Do you want me to do it again?"
The elephant then shook his head from side to side frantically.


OR


Ok there was a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead.
And they get to heaven and God says there are 100 steps on the way to heaven.
On each step someone is going to tell you a joke and if you start laughting you have to go back to the bottom of the stairs again.

The redhead got to the 30th step and started laughting and had to go back to the begining.
The brunette got to the 60th step and started laughting and had to go back.
And the blonde got all the way to the top to the 99th stair and started laughting.

God thought this was odd and asked "You got so far why did you start laughting"?
And the blonde said "I'm sorry i just got the first one"!

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This one is really mean but you'll like it...

Why did the dog cross the road?


---To get away from Michael Vick!

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