Travel and Tourism?!
Question:
Travel and Tourism?
A river pilot is guiding a ship up an estuary. Suddenly the ship grounds itself. The captain is furious. He yells at the pilot 'You said you knew every sandbank in this river!' 'I do,' says the pilot 'And that was one of them.'
'If you look like your passport photograph, in all probability you need a holiday'
A train steward calls the police after coming across a young couple having sex in a carriage. The young man is arrested for having a first-class ride with a second-class ticket.
Don't forget, when in Rome.... be an awkward bastard and do as the Belgians do.
I had a terrible holiday, it only rained twice, once for three days and once for four.
I got some travel sweet but they were useless. I ate the whole packet and didn't go anywhere.
Tom and Dick are comparing notes on their summer holiday. 'I was staying in a hotel in Poole' says Tom. 'In Dorset?' asks Dick. 'Certainly' says Tom ' I'd recommend it to anyone'.
Answers: LOL! keep them coming =) 4 people in the carriage of a train - an Englishman, a pretty young blonde girl, an ugly old woman and a Frenchman.
It all goes dark when the train goes through a tunnel.
In the dark there's the sound of an almighty slap, and when the train emerges from the tunnel the Frenchman is rubbing his face, and there's a huge red mark on his cheek.
The old lady thinks "I bet that Frenchman fondled the blonde in the dark and she slapped him"
The pretty young blonde thinks " I bet the Frenchman tried to fondle me in the dark, got the old lady by mistake, and she hit him"
The Frenchman thinks "I bet that Englishman fondled the blonde in the dark, but the blonde thought it was me and hit me"
The Englishman thinks "I hope there's another tunnel coming up soon so I can slap that French tw*t again" lol yeah very good ha ha ha