Let's have some oldies, but goodies....any subject; here's 1 or 2 to sta!
Question:
Let's have some oldies, but goodies....any subject; here's 1 or 2 to start....?
My mother-in-law went into the butcher's shop the other day & asked "Is that a pig's head in the window?"
"No" he replied. "It's a mirror."
Paddy is driving along the road with Murphy in the passenger seat. "My goodness, Paddy," says a nervous Murphy "You're going awfully fast, don't you think?"
"No, no." replies Paddy, "I drive a lot faster than this when I'm on my own."
"Well," says Murphy "I'm very glad I'm not with you when you're on your own then!"
Come on, get posting! I'm in a silly mood tonight. And why not?
LOL!! :o) :-D :))
Answers: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree?
Because he was dead!
Why did the chewing gum fall out of the tree?
Cos it was stuck to the monkey's foot!
Pure Silliness! i love 'em! lol:0) Did you hear about Lorena bobbit's sister Luella?
She decided to carry on the family tradition.
she also tried to cut off her husbands winky.
she missed horribly and hit his tendons and muscles in his thigh. You know what they charged her with??
A Misdeweiner!!!!
A tongue-tied man goes into a nut shop, and the first thing he notices is that the guy behind the counter has the largest nose he has ever seen. The tongue-tied guy quickly turns his attention to the merchandise and asks, "Ess-tues me, sir?"
"Yes?" replies the clerk. "Tould you tale me how mutsh your pisstasheos arr?"
"Pistachio's? They're six dollars a pound."
"SSit!" The tongue-tied guy goes back to browsing and then asks, "Welp, how mutsh arr your aahhmons?"
"Almonds? They're seven fifty a pound."
"SSIT! tas' pensive," replies the tongue-tied man. "Welp, how bout your pikanns?"
"Pecans? They're on sale today, they're only four fifty a pound."
"Welp, Ssit. Just div me a pound of dose dhen."
"All right then," says the clerk as he begins bagging up a pound of pecans.
Then the tongue-tied guy says to the clerk, "Tirr, I just wanna tay tank you for not making fun of
de way I talk, tauz I tan't hep it."
The clerk replies with a smile. "Oh sir, you don't have to thank me for that. I don't make fun of anybody. I don't know if you noticed but I have a rather large nose."
The tongue-tied guy replies, "Oh, is dat your noze? I tought dat wuz your dick since your nuts are so high Colleen, an Irish lass, goes home and tells her mother she thinks she's pregnant.Her mother asks "Are you sure it's yours?" Why did the elephant cross the street?
Because it was the chickens day off. A doctor walks into a patients Hospital room, takes the patients pulse, listens to his heart with a stethoscope, looks into his eyes and throat with a light, and hits the patient on the knee with a small rubber hammer.
After doing this the doctor tries to write on the patients chart with a thermometer, and a nurse says "Doctor you are trying to write on that chart with a thermometer."
The Doctor says "Nurse.do you know what this means?
Some @$$hole has my pen!" WHATS GREEN AND BROWN HAS EIGHT LEGS AND IF IT FALLS OUT OF A TREE IT WILL KILL YA? SNOOKER TABLE SORRY PMSL You cant beat the old ones ah them are funni!! xx =] xx ha ha ha funny Have a star,,ha ha v good nice love em .lol What's green and hairy and goes up and down?
A gooseberry in a lift.
What's yellow and highly dangerous?
Shark infested custard.
I'm sorry, but you did say silly.