Does anyone have a good joke to share?!
Question:
Does anyone have a good joke to share?
I'm very sad and need some cheering up :(
Answers: Perfumes
An old woman is riding in an elevator in a very lavish New York City building when a young, beautiful woman gets into the elevator, smelling of expensive perfume. She turns to the old woman and says arrogantly, "Romance" by Ralph Lauren, $150 an ounce!"
Then another young and beautiful woman gets on the elevator, and also very arrogantly turns to the old woman saying, "Chanel No. 5, $200 an ounce!"
About three floors later, the old woman has reached her destination and is about to get off the elevator. Before she leaves, she looks both beautiful women in the eye, then bends over and farts and says, "Broccoli - 49 cents a pound. What do Popeye do when his penis is hard and rusty....
He sticks it in Olive Oil
I hope you know who Olive Oil is or you won't be the joke lol. I'm sorry I don't have comical blood. But you can try this web site: www.famjokes.com/crazy or www.jokes.net/famouspeoplejoke...
Get something to laugh on. After all, laughter is a best medicine. Why did the skull go to the prom alone?
Because he had NO BODY to go with. A brunette a red head and a blond go on a walk they fell off a cliff and the brunette said eagle and she turned into a eagle the red head said hawk and turned into a hawk the blond said crap and turned into crap. Sorry if that didn't work. no but i do have something embarassing about that you can read i was playing soccer and wearing a jumpsuit type thing where the pants and shirt were connected but the pants were to long for me and i tripped over them and started running after the ball and my pants and and shirt were ripped off along with my panties and bra. i was so embarassed because the boy i liked was playing right next to me and to make things worse while trying to get the ball i fell on top of him with my boobs rubbing against his face and his mouth was open and he licked my nipple. i was so embarassed and everyone made fun of my heart shaped hair above my vagina and i couldn't even put my clothes back on because they were ripped and muddy. i had to wear my thong and no top so everyone was taking pictures of me with their cell phones of my boobs especially the boys because i have the biggest boobs at my school (DD) the rest of the day because no one would let me borrow anything to wear. What does a priest do that acne doesn't?
~A priest doesn't get on your face until your at least 15. Lol.
Two hats are on a rack. One says to the other, "Hold on I'm about to go on-a-head." yes my brother makes me giggle at this one even tho it is gross:
what is invisible and smells like bananas?
a monkey's fart
i know its gross but it is funny Two neighbors were standing at the fence talking & fighting the boredom of a day w/o a game on TV. One looked down & saw his dog licking it's b***s. Amused at this, he remarked, "I wish I could do that." The other one said, "Go ahead -- it's your dog!" Two " good old boys " are hunting in the woods. ....The first guy lifts up his new rifle with a high powered scope, looks through the scope & says: " Wow !...I can see so far with this thing that I can see all the way back to your house...Oh, Oh...I see your wife with a man & they're fooling around ! ".....The second guy says: " Damn...I'm tired of that woman messing around ! ..You know what ?...I want you to shoot her in the head & shoot him in his private parts ! "...The first guy, who is still looking through the scope, says: " Hell....I can do that with one shot !!!! " An 85 year old man visits his doctor to get a sperm count. The geezer's
given a jar and told to bring back a sample. The next day he returns to the
doctor with an empty jar.
"What happened?" says the doctor.
"Well," the old man starts, "I asked my wife for help. She tried with her
right hand, then her left -- nothing. Then she tried with her mouth, first
with her teeth in, then with her teeth out, still nothing. We even called
Evelyn, the lady next door, but still nothing."
The doctor bursts out, "You asked your neighbor?"
"Yep, No matter what we tried we couldn't get that damn jar open."