Make up the most funniest story ever?!

Make up the most funniest story ever?

i am sad right now. i need a laugh. if you can come up with the most funniest story i've ever heard then i will choose you for best answer. has 2 b short. up to about 20 sentences.

"I had run out of clean underwear one day and resorted to wearing a pair that should have been thrown in the rubbish bin months ago. The lace around the leg was falling off but, as I was late for work, they had to do.

During the afternoon, my boss walked through the middle of our open plan office and bent down to pick something up. 'Oh what is this?' he puzzles as he stands there holding my knicker lace up like it is a worm for all my colleagues to see. I shrank into my seat and denied all knowledge of the offending article."