Your having a laugh are'nt you? tell me your best joke 10 points the winner.?!


Question:

Your having a laugh are'nt you? tell me your best joke 10 points the winner.?

A man said to the Dentist, "what are your prices" the Dentist replied;

$4000 for superb looking teeth, no pain and no bleeding, 1 week service service.

$2000 for nice looking teeth some pain some bleeding, 3 day service.

$150 for crooked teeth, lots of pain, lots of blood, 1 day service.

Which one would you like?

$150? is that your best price said the man, unfortunately it is the lowest of the low said the Dentist.

Ok said the man book it in for tomorrow.

I'll send my wife.

Additional Details

3 weeks ago
A man went into the doctors surgery, he had a green frog stuck on his ear.

The Doctor said "how did you get that"?

It started as a boil on my Bum, said the frog.

3 weeks ago
When I was a young child my family were very poor, I had 3 brothers and 2 sisters, we all shared the same king size bed.

Five of them were bed wetters, I could swim before I could walk.

Mum asked me once "where do want to sleep tonight David, the shallow end"?

No mum the heated end, I can swim now you know.

3 weeks ago
A woman in a cake shop orders 12 tarts 12 eclairs 12 bread rolls and a birthday cake, the assistant said you're having a party let me guess your age; you're 31. The woman smiles and said no I'm 40.
She went to the green Grocers and ordered oranges apples sponge fingers and jelly/jello. The assistant said, you're making a trifle for a party? the woman said yes it's my birthday guess how old I am? the assistant said about 35, no I'm 40 said the woman smiling.

She then went into the butchers and ordered a roast beef enough to make 50 sandwiches, the Butcher said are you having a party she said yes it's my Birthday, guess how old I am.
The butcher said just come here to the back of the store, he pulled her jumper up and weighed her ti-ts with both hands, sucked and tasted both nipples, pulled her pants down had a good look and feel of her pu--ssy, smelled his hands and said, you are 40 years old.
She said yes I am 40 how did you know?
He said "I was behind you at the cake shop"


Answers:

It isn't my best, BUT:

A woman brought a very limp duck into a veterinary surgeon. As she lay her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly and said, "I'm so sorry, your pet has passed away."

The distressed owner wailed, "Are you sure?"

"Yes, I'm sure. The duck is dead," he replied.

"How can you be so sure", she protested. "I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything. He might just be in a coma or something."

The vet rolled his eyes, turned around and left the room. He returned a few moments later with a pair of Labrador Retrievers. As the duck's owner looked on in amazement, the dogs stood on their hind legs, put their front paws on the examination table and sniffed the duck from top to bottom. They then looked at the vet with sad eyes and shook their heads. The vet patted the dogs, took them out of the room and returned a few moments later with a beautiful cat. The cat jumped up on the table and also sniffed the bird from its beak to its tail and back again. The cat sat back on its haunches, shook its head, meowed softly, jumped down and strolled out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said, "I'm sorry, but as I said, this is most definitely, 100% certifiably, a dead duck."

Then the vet turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys and produced a bill, which he handed to the woman. The duck's owner, still in shock, took the bill. "$150!" she cried. "$150 just to tell me my duck is dead?!!"

The vet shrugged. "I'm sorry. If you'd taken my word for it, the bill would have been $20. But what with the Lab Reports and the Cat Scan, it all adds up."


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