Maine Jokes?!

Maine Jokes?

Q1. What is 140 feet long and has 9 teeth?
Q2. Did you hear they are opening a new zoo in Saco?

Q3. What are the three biggest lies in Maine?

Q4. How'd ya know the tooth-brush was invented in Maine?




The Answers...
A1. The fried dough line at the Cumberland County Fair.
A2. They are putting a fence around Biddeford.

A3. 1) The Trailah's phaid fuh
2) She ain't muy sistah
3) I was only Helpin' that goat ovah tha fence

A4. Cuz if was invented anywhere else it would be called the teeth-brush.



If you live(d) in Maine, then these will make sense...

1. Traffic Jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.
2. "Vacation" means going to Bangor for the weekend.
3. You measure distance in hours.
4. You know several people who have hit deer more than once.
5. You often switch from "heat" to "A/C" in the same day.
6. You use a down comforter in the summer.

3 weeks ago
7. Your grandparents drive at 65 mph through 13 feet of snow during a raging blizzard, without flinching.
8. You see people wearing hunting clothes at social events.
9. You install security lights on your house and garage and leave them both unlocked.
10. You think of the major food groups as deer meat, beer, fish and berries.
11. You carry jumper cables in your car and your girlfriend knows how to use them.
12. There are four empty cars running in the parking lot at the convenience store at any given time.
13. You design your kid's Halloween costume to fit over a snowsuit.
14. Driving is better in the winter because the potholes are filled with snow.
15. You think sexy lingerie is tube socks and flannel pajamas.
16. You know all four seasons: almost wintah, wintah, still wintah and construction.
17. You actually understand these jokes and send them to all your friends from Maine.

3 weeks ago
Maine Girls
Three men were sitting together bragging about how they had given their new wives duties. The first man had married a woman from Alabama, and bragged that he had told his wife she was going to do all the dishes and house cleaning that needed done at their house. He said that it took a couple days but on the third day he came home to a clean house and the dishes were all washed and put away.

The second man had married a woman from Florida. He bragged that he had given his wife orders that she was to do all the cleaning,dishes, and the cooking. He told them that the first day he didn't see any results, but the next day it was better. By the third day, his house was clean, the dishes were done, and he had a huge dinner on the table.

The third man had married a Maine girl. He boasted that he told her that her duties were to keep the house cleaned, dishes washed, lawn mowed, laundry washed and hot meals on the table for every meal.

3 weeks ago
He said the first day he didn't see anything, the second day he didn't see anything, but by the third day most of the swelling had gone down and he could see a little out of his left eye enough to fix himself a bite to eat, load the dishwasher,and telephone a landscaper.

Got to love them Maine girls!

Thanks for posting....

I never knew Maine had problems before! LOL

Thought it was just my state