Tell me a funny joke please?!
Question:
Tell me a funny joke please?
ten points for the one that makes me laugh the most
Answers:
A doctor gets a visit from a patient who is not able to get an erection.
Doctor: Are you married?
Patient: No.
Doctor: Do you masturbate?
Patient: No.
Doctor: Do you visit prostitutes?
Patient: No.
Doctor: Do you have girlfriends?
Patient: No.
Doctor: so what will u do with an erection ???? HANG CALENDARS.........
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On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away Santa Singh went straight round to visit his grandmother. When he asked how his grandpa had died, his granny explained 'He had a heart attack during sex on Sunday morning'
Horrified Santa suggested that shagging at the age of 94 was surely asking for trouble.
'Oh no' granny replied, 'We had sex every Sunday morning, in time with the local church bells, in with the dings and out with the dongs.'
She paused, and wiped away a tear. 'If it wasn't for that damn fire engine going past, he'd still be alive!'
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An old woman went to visit her daughter and she found her naked, waiting for her husband.
The mother asks the daughter, 'What are you doing naked?'
The daughter responds, 'This is the dress of love.'
When the mother returns home, she strips naked and waits for her husband.
When her husband arrives, he asks her, 'What are you doing naked?'
She responds, 'This is the dress of love.'
'Well,' he says to her, 'go iron it.'
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A man and his wife go to the site of their honeymoon for their 25th anniversary. As the couple is reflecting on that magical evening 25 years ago, the wife asks the husband, 'When you first saw my naked body in front of you, what was going through your mind?'
The husband replies, 'All I wanted to do was **** your brains out and suck your **** dry.'
'What are you thinking now?' the wife asks as she undresses.
The husband quickly replies: 'It looks like I did a pretty good job.
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One day Jane met Tarzan in the jungle.
She was very attracted to him and during her questions about his life she asked him what he did for sex.
'What's that?' he asked.
She explained to him what sex was and he said 'Oh, I use a hole in the trunk of a tree.'
'Tarzan, you have it all wrong,' she says horrified, 'but I will show you how to do it properly.'
She took off her clothes, laid down on the ground and spread her legs wide.
'Here,' she said, 'You must put it in here.'
Tarzan removed his loincloth, stepped closer and then gave her an almighty kick in the crotch.
Jane rolled around in agony. Eventually she managed to gasp, 'What the hell did you do that for?'
'Just checking for bees,' said Tarzan.