More old 'uns?!


Question:

More old 'uns?

Two eggs are boiling in a saucepan.
one says to the other, look l've got a crack'.
the other says, no point telling me , l'm not hard yet,'

whats worse than your doctor telling you you've got vd?
your dentist telling you you've got vd

what do your wife and a vacuum cleaner have in common?
after a year they stop sucking and start whining

why was alcohol invented?
so ugly women could get laid

why are women like pianos?
when they're not upright they're grand

a woman visits her doctor and says l keep hearing the sound of glory glory man utd coming from my crotch..
the doctor says, dont worry, a lot of tw*ts sing that

the post office has recalled its manchester united-themed stamps.
people couldn't work out which side to spit on

How does wayne rooney hit two balls in one go?
by stepping on a rake

whats 3ft long and keeps a tw*t warm?
a man utd scarf

whats 12inches long and dangles in front of an a**eh*le?
tony blairs tie


Answers:

Oooooooooooooo ahahahahah!


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