Making a baby - not one dirty word but funny as fcuk!?!
Question:
Making a baby - not one dirty word but funny as fcuk!?
The Smiths were unable to conceive children and
decided to use a surrogate father to start their family.
On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Smith
kissed his wife goodbye and said, "Well, I'm off now;
The man should be here soon."
Half an hour later, just by chance, a door-to-door baby photographer happened to ring the doorbell, hoping to make a sale.
Good morning, Ma'am", he said, "I've come to...''
Oh, no need to explain," Mrs. Smith cut in,
embarrassed, "I've been expecting you."
"Have you r eally?" said the photographer. "Well,
that's good. Did you know babies are my specialty?"
"Well that's what my husband and I had hoped.
Please come in ! and have a seat"
After a moment she asked, blushing, "Well, where
do we start?"
"Leave everything to me. I usually try two in the
bathtub, one on the couch, and perhaps a couple
on the bed. And sometimes the living room floor is
fun. You can really spread out there."
2 weeks ago
"Bathtub, living room floor? No wonder it didn't
work out for Harry and me!"
"Well, M a'am, none of us can guarantee a good one
every time. But if we try several different
positions and I shoot from six or seven angles, I'm
sure you'll be pleased with the results."
"My, that's a lot!" gasped Mrs. Smith.
"Ma'am, in my line of work a man has to take his
time. I'd love to be in and out in five minutes,
but I'm sure you'd be disappointed with that."
"Don't I know it," said Mrs. Smith quietly.
The photographer opened his briefcase and pulled
out a portfolio of his baby pictures. "This was
done on the top of a bus," he said.
"Oh my God!" Mrs. Smith exclaimed, grasping at her throat.
"And these twins turned out exceptionally well -
when you consider their mother was so difficult to work with.""She was difficult?" asked Mrs. Smith.
2 weeks ago
"Yes, I'm afraid so I finally had to take her to
the park to get the job done right. People were
crowding around four and five deep to get a good look."
"Four and five deep?" said Mrs. Smith, her eyes
wide with amazement.
"Yes", the photographer replied. "And for more
than three hours, too.
The m o th er was constantly squealing and yelling -
I could hardly concentrate, and when darkness approached I had to rush my shots.
Finally, when the squirrels began nibbling on my
equipment, I just had to pack it all in."
Mrs. Smith leaned forward. "Do you mean they
actually chewed on your, uh...equipment?"
"It's true, Ma'am, yes.. Well, if you're ready,
I'll set-up my tripod and we can get to work right away."
"Tripod?"
"Oh yes, Ma'am. I need to use a tripod to rest my
Canon on. It's much too big to be held in the
hand very long."
Mrs. Smith fainted....
Answers:
lol, that was HALLARIOUS!!! best joke i have read in a while!!!!!! STAR FOR YOU!!!!