Why did the chicken cross the road?!


Question:

Why did the chicken cross the road?

Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road...

DR. PHIL: The problem we have here is that this
chicken won't realize that he must first deal with the
problem on "THIS" side of the road before it goes
after the problem on the "OTHER SIDE" of the road.
What we need to do is help him realize how stupid he's
acting by not taking on his "CURRENT" problems before
adding "NEW" problems.

OPRAH: Well I understand that the chicken is having
problems, which is why he wants to cross this road so
bad. So instead of having the chicken learn from his
mistakes and take falls, which is a part of life, I'm
going to give this chicken a car so that he can just
drive across the road and not live his life like the
rest of the chickens.

GEORGE W. BUSH: We don't really care why the chicken
crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken
is on our side of the road, or not. The chicken is
either against us, or for us. There is no middle
ground here.

DONALD RUMSFELD: Now to the left of the screen, you
can clearly see the satellite image of the chicken
crossing the road.

ANDERSON COOPER/CNN: We have reason to believe there
is a chicken, but we have not yet been allowed to have
access to the other side of the road.

JOHN KERRY: Although I voted to let the chicken cross
the road, I am now against it! It was the wrong road
to cross, and I was misled about the chicken's
intentions. I am for it now, and will remain against
it.

JUDGE JUDY: That chicken crossed the road because he's
GUILTY! You can see it in his eyes and the way he
walks.

PAT BUCHANAN: To steal the job of a decent,
hardworking American.

MARTHA STEWART: No one called me to warn me which way
that chicken was going. I had a standing order at the
Farmer's Market to sell my eggs when
the price dropped to a certain level.

DR SEUSS: Did the chicken cross the road? Did he cross
it with a toad? Yes, the chicken crossed the road, but
why it crossed I've not been told.

ERNEST HEMINGWAY: To die in the rain. Alone.

JERRY FARWELL: Because the chicken was gay! Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The
chicken was going to the "other side." That's why they
call it the "other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And if you eat that chicken, you will become
gay too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort
out this abomination that the liberal media
whitewashes with seemingly harmless phrases like "the
other side." That chicken should not be free to cross
the road. It's as plain and simple as that!

GRANDPA: In my day we didn't ask why the chicken
crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed
the road, and that was good enough.

BARBARA WALTERS: Isn't that interesting? In a few
moments, we will be listening to the chicken tell, for
the first time, the heart warming story of how it
experienced a serious case of molting, and went on to
accomplish its life long dream of crossing the road.

JOHN LENNON: Imagine all the chickens in the world
crossing roads together - in peace.

ARISTOTLE: It is the nature of chickens to cross the
road.

BILL GATES: I have just released eChicken2006, which
will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file
your important documents, and balance your checkbook.
Internet explorer is an integral part of chicken. The
Platform is much more stable and will never
cra...#@&&^( C \..... reboot.

ALBERT EINSTEIN: Did the chicken really cross the
road, or did the road move beneath the chicken?

BILL CLINTON: I did not cross the road with THAT
chicken. What is your definition of chicken?

AL GORE: I invented the chicken!

COLONEL SANDERS: Did I miss one?


Answers:

Al Sharpton - The road represents the black man and the white chicken "crossed" it in order to trample it and keep him down.


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