Please help me with my lowlife theif of a crappy neighbor!!!!!!!!!!!!?!


Question:

Please help me with my lowlife theif of a crappy neighbor!!!!!!!!!!!!?

my dumb, fat neighbor is a pain in the ###!!! for starters, when i am not home, he jumps my fence with a ladder that i havent seen in my garage in a while.. and uses my pool, according to a trusty neighbor. he hangs out in my yard all day!! he runs an extension cord from my outside outlet to his house. and to make it even better, he uses my hose and water to water his lawn. when the mail comes, he is the first to sort through it. i dont know why he would even want to read my mail. when he has parties, he instructs guests to park in my driveway and lawn. his wife is also a *****. i caught her grocery shopping in my kitchen!!! the police cant do anything about it. (so they say). we have really crappy police. there are only about 4 cops and they can never be counted on because the spend time at the diner and coffee house. what are some good ideas (funny) that i could do to get him to stop taking advantage of me??? by the way, i lock my doors and have changed the locks a handful of times


Answers:

take a crap on his front steps and leave a note that says
" you can use MY vacuum to clean this up!!!!"

orrrr....
tell ur neighbors that you are going out, and ask them to water your lawn or something. then, hide in the house in a suit (gorilla?). when he comes in, then jump out at him and bite him in the butt.
one more....
have sex with his wife and then say, "you use my crap, so i use yours!!"


or simply move!!!


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