These are really funny!!.... Thing that makes you go hmmmmm....?!
Question:
These are really funny!!.... Thing that makes you go hmmmmm....?
I had to admit, I pondered some of these questions...
Can you cry under water?
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?
What disease did cured ham actually have?
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours?
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
America?
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you
going to be smiling?
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point
to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is?
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!
What do you call male ballerinas?
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy dinner?
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call
it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?
Answers:
I'll do my best to answer them.
Can you cry under water?-You can cry, it is just that your tears are water, and you are under water so they join the water as soon as you cry them.
How important does a person have to be before they are considered
assassinated instead of just murdered?- the definition of murdered is "The unlawful killing of one human by another," while assai nation is "to kill suddenly or secretively, esp. a politically prominent person; murder premeditatedly and treacherously." So I guess any murder could be an assassination, and any assassination a murder.
If money doesn't grow on trees then why do banks have branches?-Funny. To take it literally, branches of banks are not the same a branches on a tree. They are not connected to the "mother bank." They are just little smaller banks that came out of the first one. And besides, banks do not make the money, they just hold it.
Since bread is square, then why is sandwich meat round?- My guess is because animals tend to be more round shaped than square shaped.
Why do you have to "put your two cents in"... but it's only a "penny for
your thoughts"? Where's that extra penny going to?- It's stolen by the government!
Once you're in heaven, do you get stuck wearing the clothes you were buried
in for eternity?- Since it is heaven, I would assume either you can wear whatever you want, or you always wear a white robe.
Why does a round pizza come in a square box?- My guess is square boxes are a little easier to carry.
What disease did cured ham actually have?- I think it suffered from malaria.
How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a
good idea to put wheels on luggage?- Because people tend to try to solve the hardest problems, while ignoring the easy ones.
Why is it that people say they "slept like a baby" when babies wake up like
every two hours?- Maybe when people say that they mean a baby that is still in the womb? Plus, when babies reach about 2 years old, they sleep right through the night. And when they are really young, although they don't sleep for long periods of time, they sleep a lot.
If a deaf person has to go to court, is it still called a hearing?- No, it's called a mouth reading.
If you drink Pepsi at work in the Coke factory, will they fire you?- I don't know about that, but I saw on the news a while back that that a guy that works a some beer company was fired for being in the paper holding a beer from another company.
Why are you IN a movie, but you're ON TV?- Because TV is for shows maybe?
Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars
to look at things on the ground?- People like to feel like they are overlords.
How come we choose from just two people for President and fifty for Miss
America?- You don't need nearly as much money to become Miss America as you do to become President. Plus, we do choose between more than two people before the general election, in the primaries.
Why do doctors leave the room while you change? They're going to see you
naked anyway.- It depends on what type of doctor it is. Besides it would be embarrassing undressing in front of a doctor.
If a 911 operator has a heart attack, whom does he/she call?- Themselves?
Why is "bra" singular and "panties" plural?- Panties refers to more than one panty. It is just a common mis-speaking for people to say panties.
Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet soup?- Sure, it is still food.
Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, "I think I'll squeeze
these dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out!"- Actually, since babies drink milk from their mothers breast, and cows drink milk from their mother's utter, it is safe to assume the utters contain milk.
Why do toasters always have a setting that burns the toast to a horrible
crisp, which no decent human being would eat?-That only happens when you leave it in for too long.
Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?- It might freeze.
When your photo is taken for your driver's license, why do they tell you to
smile? If you are stopped by the police and asked for your license, are you
going to be smiling?- I wasn't asked to smile for my picture.
If Jimmy cracks corn and no one cares, why is there a stupid song about him?- They have to tell the world that they don't care!
Can a hearse carrying a corpse drive in the carpool lane?- I don't think so, the person is dead.
If the professor on Gilligan's Island can make a radio out of a coconut, why
can't he fix a hole in a boat?- I also wonder that.
Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point
to their crotch when they ask where the bathroom is? People might think they are asking for sex.
Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both
dogs!- They are? I didn't know that.
What do you call male ballerinas?- Ballerinas, it is a unisex term.
Can blind people see their dreams? Do they dream?- You would have to ask one of them.
If Wyle E. Coyote had enough money to buy all that ACME crap, why didn't he
just buy dinner?- Or a gun to shoot the roadrunner.
If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables,
what is baby oil made from?- Babies.
If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?- Electricity doesn't come from electrons, it comes from the burning of fuel to turn turbines.
Is Disney World the only people trap operated by a mouse?- Yes.
Do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?- Yes.
Why did you just try singing the two songs above?- To find out their theme.
Why do they call it an asteroid when it's outside the hemisphere, but call
it a hemorrhoid when it's in your butt?- Asteroids do not fit in your butt.
Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you,
but when you take him for a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?- Kind of strange isn't it?