Star if you like these...?!
Question:
Star if you like these...?
Abraham is an old Jewish yarn merchant who has the misfortune of living next door to the biggest anti-Semite in town.
One day, the anti-Semite calls up Abraham and says, 'Hey Jew! I need a piece of orange yarn. The length must be from the tip of your nose to the tip of your penis, and i want it delivered tomorrow.'
Abe says, 'Okay.'
The next morning at 7am, the anti-Semite is awaken by a mighty din of loud angines. He runs outside to see trucks lined up one after the other, dumping truckful after truckful of orange yarn in his front yard. Soon, his yard is a sea of orange yarn, a metre deep. Abe then presents the anti-Semite with a bill for $35,000.
The guy starts yelling and screaming at Abraham.
'What is this? This is not what I asked for! I told you I needed a piece of yarn from the end of your nose to the tip of your penis. Look at this place! What do you have to say for yourself?'
2 weeks ago
Straight-faced, Abe explains, 'I'm very careful when I deal with people like you.That's why I got a few witnesses here with me. I may be off by a few metres, so I gave you a two percent
discount; but the tip of my penis was left in Poland after my circumcision!'
2 weeks ago
On hearing that her elderly grandfather had just passed away, Katie went straight to her grandparent's house to comfort her ninety-five year old Grandmother. When she asked how her grandfather had died, her grandmother replied, 'he had a heart attack while we were making love on sunday morning.'
'aren't two people, nearly a hundred years old, having sex, just asking for trouble?'
'Oh no, my dear,' granny replied. 'many years ago, realising our advanced age, we figured out the best time to do it was when the church bells would start to ring. It was just the right rhythm: nice and slow and even. Nothing too strenuous, simply in on the 'ding' and out on the 'dong'.'
She paused, wiping away a tear and then continued:
'And if that damned Ice Cream Man hadn't driven up our street, your grandfather would still be alive.'
Answers:
hes got a big penis