What do you think of these lyrics i came up with?!


Question:

What do you think of these lyrics i came up with?

This is all i got so far. Please tell me what you think and if you have any suggestions.


You’re dippin your legs in the pool at the hotel,
Tellin me about last night and how you slept well,
Just lookin in your eyes baby I can tell,
That it’s gonna be on tonight,
Yea it’s on tonight,

It’s on at the hotel we got room keys,
Show up in your dress looking so sexy,
Start by drinking that rum mixed with pepsi,
Get on the dance floor and that beat is nasty,
So drop your purse, and grab your t i t s,
Now let me grab your hips and kiss your lips,
I stay stackin cause I move them bricks,
But if you’re Cinderella I can be your prince,
So you can grab my hand and lets go to the next room,
You slidin off your pants and I can see your tattoo,
You standin near the bed waitin for my next move,
I forgot my next move so screw it lets screw.


Answers:

Keep workin' on it.
Try being a bit more subtle, too. . . .


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