Tell me some jokes?!


Question:

Tell me some jokes?

i really need a good laugh right now


Answers:

haha!
[LONG, but funny!!]
So, there is three guys hiking in the woods;
they're hiking along and they run into a tribe. So the tribe takes them back to their village to the chief, sitting on his throne of bamboo! :P
Anyway, the chief says to the three men; "Go find some fruit..Any fruit of your choice, and bring three of that fruit back to me".
So the three ment set off to find some fruit.
The first one comes back with an apple.
The chief says to the first man; "If you can still all three of those apples up your butt without making a face or a sound, I will let you survive, and you're free to go; But if not, i will be forced to kill you!"
So the first man, sticks the first apple up his butt, and ive course makes a face. So the chief kills him.

The second man now comes back, and shows the chief that he has brought back three grapes. The chief says the same thing to the second man; "if you can stick those three grapes up your butt without making a face or a sound, You're free to go" So the second man is on his second grape, and starts to burst out laughing. So the chief kills him.

...Up in heaven are the two men. The first man says to the second "What happened! You had only one more grape to go, why did you start laughing?!" And the second man replys still laughing, "Because, I saw the third man walking up with three pineapples!!"
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[this one is a bit naughty :P]
There's a boy and a dad walking in the park. The boy sees two dogs going at it, so the boy says to his father "daddy, what are they doing?" and the father replys "Well son, they're making puppies!" So a few nights later, the boy is walking by his parents' bedroom and sees them making love. So the boy walks in and says "Daddy, what are you and mommy doing?" and the father replys "Well son, Your mother and I are making a baby!" and so the son replys "Well daddy, could you please turn mommy over? I want puppies instead!"
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A boy is at school like every other day. And today the question of the morning was tell about something that has happened to you recently. So the teacher asks who would like to go first. The boy raises his hand, and the teacher picks him. The boy gets up from his seat, and goes to the blackboard, and puts a period on the board and then returns to his seat. The teacher stares at the board blankly and says "What is that supposed to be?" The boy says "I'll be damned if I know! All I know is that my sister was missing one this morning, my mom fainted, my dad had a heart-attack and the neighbor shot himself!"


haah, i hope this cheers you up and I hope you feel better!
xx


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