Riddles and jokes?!

Riddles and jokes?

Does anybody have any good jokes or riddles??

Riddles:

(The answers will be on the bottom)

1. Your driving a bus from New York to Chicago. On this long trip, there were many stops. This is what happened on a few. 6 people got on, 3 people got off. 14 people got on, 12 people got off. 8 people got on 1 person got off and finally 7 people got on, 13 people got off. What color is the bus driver's eyes?

2. At a crime seen a man was hung. It seemed he did it to himself but there was no furniture there, all there were, was a puddle of water. How did he do it?

3. 3 men were on a boat in the middle of an ocean when a huge wave hit. All 3 men fell all the way underwater yet only 2 of them had there hair wet. What happened?

4. What has keys that open no locks, spaces but no room, and an enter but you can't go through?

5. The man who invented it doesn't want it. The man who bought it doesn't need it. The man who needs it doesn't know it. What is it?

6. What goes around the world but stays in a corner?

7. Put me in a bucket and I will make it lighter. What am I?

8. A doctor and a teacher both liked the same girl. One day the teacher went on a week vacation for summer. He gave her seven apples. Why?

Jokes:

1. What's a duck's favorite part in a baseball game?

A fowl ball.

2. 2 peanuts walked into a bar...

One was a salted.

3. 2 men walked into a bar...

The 3rd one ducked!

4. A magician was riding down the street...

Then he turned into a driveway!

5. Do you wanna lose ten pounds of ugly fat?

Cut off your head.

6. A couple of New Jersey hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator, in a calm soothing voice, says: "Just take it easy. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. The guy's voice comes back on the line. He says: "OK, now what?"

7. When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300 degrees Celsius. The Russians used a pencil.

I hope you liked them.

Here's the answers to the riddles:

1. What ever color your eyes are because in the first sentence it says,"You're driving a bus..."

2. He was on a block of ice.

3. He was bald.

4. A keyboard.

5. A koffin.

6. A stamp.

7. A match if it is on fire. It will make it "lighter" as in bright.

8. An apple a day keeps a doctor away!