Heard the one about the two drunks?!

Heard the one about the two drunks?

Two buddies, Bob and Joe, are getting very drunk at a bar when suddenly Joe throws up all over himself.
"Oh, no... Now my wife will kill me!"

Bob says, "Don't worry, pal. Just tuck a twenty pound note in your chest pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty pounds for the dry cleaning bill."
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.

Eventually Joe stumbles home and his wife starts to give him a bad time.
"You reek of alcohol and you've puked all over yourself! Eeewwww!!, you're so disgusting!"

Speaking very carefully so as not to slur his words, Joe says, "Nowainaminit, I can e'splain everythin. Itsh snot wha Jew think. I only had a cupla drrrinks. But thiss other guy got ssick on me...he had one too many! And he juss koudin hold hizz liquor.
He said hes was verrry sorry an' gave me twennie poundsh for the cleaning bill!"...........

1 week ago
....... His wife looks in the chest pocket and says, "But this is forty quid.."

"Oh, yeah.. I almos' fergot, he pooohhdd in my pants, too."

first joke on here thats actually made me laugh out loud, gotta have a star for that.