Does anybody remember The Dubliners? I've listened to "The Seven Drunken Ni!


Question:

Does anybody remember The Dubliners? I've listened to "The Seven Drunken Nights" a few times,?

the thing is, they only ever seem to manage Monday to Friday, does anybody know If there are verses for Saturday & Sunday? and if so can you remember how they go?


Answers:

"Seven Drunken Nights" is a humorous traditional Irish song, most famously performed by The Dubliners. Their version reached number 7 in the UK charts in 1967. It was based on an older ballad, "Our Goodman" (Child Ballad #274), sometimes called "Four Nights Drunk". Usually only five of the seven nights are sung because of the vulgar nature of the final two. Each night is a verse, followed by a chorus, in which the narrator comes home in a drunken state to find evidence of another man having been with his wife, which she explains away, not entirely convincingly.

Nights 1-5
On the first, night (generally Monday), the narrator sees a strange horse outside the door:

As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be,
I saw a horse outside the door where my old horse should be.
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: "Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be?"
His wife tells him it is merely a sow, a gift from her mother:

"Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk, you silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me."
In each verse the narrator notices a flaw in each explanation, but seems content to let the matter rest:

Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more,
But a saddle on a sow sure I never saw before.



The next four nights involve a coat (actually a blanket according to the wife, upon which he notices buttons), a pipe (a tin whistle, filled with tobacco), two boots (flower pots, with laces), and finally, this being the last verse often sung, a head peering out from beneath the covers. Again his wife tells him it is a baby boy, leading to the retort "a baby boy with his whiskers on sure I never saw before." Each new item appearing in the house is said to be a gift from the wife's mother.

Nights 6-7
The final two verses are not often sung, generally considered too raunchy, and due to their rarity several different versions have circulated. Verse six sometimes keeps the same story line, in which two hands appear on the wife's breasts. The wife, giving the least likely explanation yet, tells him that it is merely a nightgown, though the man notices that this nightgown has fingers.

Another version exists with a slight twist. The man sees a man coming out the door at a little after 3:00, this time the wife saying it was an English tax collector that the Queen sent. The narrator, now wise to what is going on, remarks: "Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more, but an Englishman who can last til three, I've never seen before." While this departs noticeably from the standard cycle, the twist is slightly more clever, and takes a jab at the English (a popular ploy in some Irish songs). As this sort of wraps up the story, it is usually sung as the last verse, be it the sixth or seventh.

Probably the most common version of the seventh verse involves the man seeing a "thing" in her "thing", or in "the bed", where his "thing" should be. Again his wife is ready with an answer, that it is a tin whistle, upon which the narrator remarks "...hair on a tin whistle sure I never saw before." At other times the "thing" involved is said to be a candle (in which case she doesn't recycle an excuse from an earlier night). The narrator this time remarks that he had never before seen a pair of balls on a candle. In a still less ambiguous version, it is the first time that our hero has observed "bollocks on a rolling pin".

Of course, the song leaves much unexplained, such as what happens when the man sobers up, and can tell what the items actually are, or if they're gone, notice their disappearance (particularly in verse five). Nor how he can notice a man's "thing", but not the man himself.

Another little known version for Sunday night is "that's a carrot that my mother sent to me", with the final observation being "a carrot with its onions on, I've never seen before".

Another Version is "it's only just a rollin' pin me mother sent to me" with the man saying "a rollin' pin with a head like that I've never seen before"

Yet another version is "'tis nothin' but a hammer that me mother sent to me", with the man noticing "a hammer with a head like that, I never before did see"

Full Lyrics

Lyrics
Seven Drunken Nights
As I went home on Monday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a horse outside the door, where my old horse should be
So I called me wife, the curse of me life, will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that horse outside the door where my old horse should be.
Ay you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool
As drunk as drunk can be
That's a lovely sow that me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day I've travelled, a hundred miles or more
But a saddle on a sow, sure I never saw before.

As I went home on Tuesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a coat behind the door, where my old coat should be
So I called me wife, the curse of me life, will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that coat behind the door where my old coat should be.
Ay you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool
As drunk as drunk can be
That's a woollen blanket that me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day I've travelled, a hundred miles or more
But buttons on a blanket, sure I never saw before.

As I went home on wednesday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a pipe upon the chair, where my old pipe should be
So I called me wife, the curse of me life, will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that pipe upon the chair where my old pipe should be.
Ay you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool
As drunk as drunk can be
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day I've travelled, a hundred miles or more
But tobacco in a tin whistle, sure I never saw before.

As I went home on Thursday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two boots beneath the bed, where my old boots should be
So I called me wife, the curse of me life, will you kindly tell to me
Who owns those boots beneath the bed where my old boots should be.
Ay you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool
As drunk as drunk can be
They're two lovely geranium pots me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day I've travelled, a hundred miles or more
But laces in geranium pots, sure I never saw before.

As I went home on Friday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a head upon the bed, where my old head should be
So I called me wife, the curse of me life, will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that head upon the bed where my old head should be.
Ay you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool
As drunk as drunk can be
That's a baby boy that me mother sent to me
Well it's many a day I've travelled, a hundred miles or more
But a baby boy with his whiskers on, sure I never saw before.

And as I went home on Saturday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw two hands upon her breasts where my old hands should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns them hands upon your breasts where my old hands should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely night gown that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But fingers in a night gown sure I never saw before

As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing in her thing where my old thing should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that thing in your thing where my old thing should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool,
still you can not see
That's a lovely tin whistle that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But hair on a tin whistle sure I never saw before


Alternative last line:
But a condom on a tin whistle sure I never saw before


Alternative last verse:

Now when I came home on Sunday night,
a little after three.
I saw a man running out the door
with his pants about his knee.
So I called to my wife and I said to her:
would you kindly tell to me,
who was that man running out the door
with his pants about his knee?
Oh you're drunk, you're drunk,
you silly old fool, and still you cannot see,
Twas nothing but the tax collector the Queen sent to me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled, a hundred miles or more,
But an Englishman that could last 'till three I never saw before.



or

As I went home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a thing within a thing where my old thing should be
Well, I called me wife and I said to her: Will you kindly tell to me
Who owns that thing within a thing where my old thing should be
Ah, you're drunk,
you're drunk you silly old fool, still you can not see
That's a lovely rolling-pin that me mother sent to me
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a rolling pin with balls upon sure I never saw before

or

As i came home on a sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I found a lump beneath the sheets where my own lump should be
so i call me wife and i said to her: will you kindly tell to me,
whose lump is that beneath the sheets where my own lump should be.
aah ya drunk ya drunk ya silly old fool still you cannot see.
that's a big ol hammer that me mother sent to me.
well its many a day ive travelled a hundred miles or more
but a hammer with a condom on ive never seen before


or

a condom on a hammer sure i never saw before

or

Now when I came home on Sunday night as drunk as drunk could be
I saw a man run out the door as naked as could be.
So I called to my wife and I said to her, Would you kindly tell to me,
Who was that man come out the door with those great big hair knees?

Ah, you're drunk, you're drunk you silly old fool, and still you can not see.
That's just the tax collector, who was sent to service me.
Well, it's many a day I've travelled a hundred miles or more
But a tax collector satisfied I never saw before.


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