Anyone got any jokes to cheer me up?!

Anyone got any jokes to cheer me up?

its one of them days. l haven't felt this low for years

i bet youve herd the farmer and sheep joke havent you if not i'll mail it ya

bloke returns home to find his mrs in the splits stuck to the kitchen floor by her minge
he trys to move her but shes so stuck
he calls his m8 who comes and takes a look mmm he says i'll go get a hammer and we can smash the tiles and lift her off
the man says yeah ok i'll fondle her boobs whilst ya gone
the friend asks why
he replies well she'll get wet and i can slide her into the hall the foookin tiles are cheaper in there
cheer up hun xx