I am a gemini?!
Question: and i have been going through alot in my life lately.....alot of decisions have to be made concerning my relationship and i dont know how to go about it....
Is there anyone out there that can give me advice on which path to take.....
Its been 12 years and 2 kids....and i have changed....unfortunately my spouse has not and i dont know what to do.
Answers: and i have been going through alot in my life lately.....alot of decisions have to be made concerning my relationship and i dont know how to go about it....
Is there anyone out there that can give me advice on which path to take.....
Its been 12 years and 2 kids....and i have changed....unfortunately my spouse has not and i dont know what to do.
Ah, my dear, it sounds as if you know the answer in your heart already.
Just remember: what's best for someone isn't necessarily going to be their favorite option. In fact, they may really hate it! If your decision is based on love and respect (for YOURSELF, too!!), then it will be the right one, no matter what.
follow your heart!
Are you saying that you have outgrown your present situation? If so, join the club. I got out, what will you do???
listen to him more
stay with him. you should read these books:
http://www.4-womenonly.com/
http://www.amazon.com/Love-Respect-Emers...
well theres really not enough info here for me to give you a specific detailed answer..... but i can tell you to take the path that would be best for you and your kids.... dont ever put the kids in a position where it will ruin their lives. I'm not sure if your husbands gambling, cheating, or on drugs but you need to talk to him and tell him that you have changed, and tell him if he loves you and the kids, then he will change to keep the family together.... good luck with all of lifes choices
It sounds like you two need to talk and bridge the gap some how. It is a sad thing to break up a home when two children are involved. It will destroy their life. I know they will get over it but they will suffer a great loss. It will affect them for a long time. Unless one of you is being unfaithful; things can be fixed. It take work on both sides. It will be worth it. There has to be give and take from both of you; not just one sided.
I hope you will find someone to talk to about this before you break up. A marriage counselor or a Pastor.
You should plan things out for the children before yourself. Not to say you must stay in a bad relationship for the sake of the children, but try to consider what choices and words to use with them.
Your question is kind of Odd. Most people try to break from relationships because the person CHANGES or was not as they seemed.
What difficulties is it createing that they have not changed? Maybe that would help people give better suggestions. Otherwise as it stands it sounds like " Oh, I'm bored. My spouse doesn't suit the new me."
You need to clarify the problems you are stuggleing with so we know you aren't just bored. Like if he is stealing the kids toys or not putting in his fair share of things.
Added: What's his sign? It doesn't sound like he hasn't changed. It sounds like he is worn down and haveing the same problems as everyone else these days. A decade ago the money went further, you could get a break when you needed one and then return to work happy. Today people are over worked, not paid enough and though pay hasn't changed prices have quadruppled on some things. The way most people have been dealing with this is to have both adults work and then the kids try to work ASAP. It's the only way to get things comfortable for the household and to give opertunities to return to normal.
Males and Females have different things they cling to that can be considered Childish. For Females, they are pushed to care for pseudo babies as children. For Males, they are told Electronics are AWESOME and given things that base in Mathematics. As an adult you are haveing some wants and needs met through motherhood and you have been conditoned your whole life that Motherhood makes you Super Cool (clearly you don't feel that way when dealing with reality but this is still how your mind has been set up). Him, on the other hand, is supposed to have complete and total control of the household,.. be the head,.. and instantly know soluations to math, messurement, distance, and location. You have your children, he doesn't have his Big Boy toys and endless flow of instantly managed money with a bottomless bank account. He is not keeping up witht he fantasy but you have been allowed to live the Fantasy (some women cannot have children, at some point they feel like they are not women because of what has been planted into their minds over their lives).
You should do what the Japanese have done for a long time that other countries can't accept very well. The woman controls the money and bank account totally since she sees the bills and sees when something is ACTUALLY needed for the household. The Wife gives her Husband Lunch Money and a weekly Allowence that he cannot get advances on.
He sounds like he needs a break and some play time and play money on a scedual. This will give him dates that will be goals to work to so he has something to focus on through the week. You may want to see if your children want to pitch in and if you can get a little extra work. Nothing gets a spur up the butt of a man faster then seeing his kids are "working". Legally Children do not actually have Paper Routes any more, but you can have a Paper Route and have your children help walk the paper up to the door ( this is if you are a morning person). If you can't stand that idea look into jobs you can take the kids in to that will allow them to interact. Haveing children with employees at some jobs at fun places actually increases customers and sells because it invites customers, makes kids feel they are haveing more fun and makes mothers feel better about visiting more often in an enviornment with a fellow mother on staff and into their job.
Added2: Taurus, Gemini, and Cancer can get stuck in playland some times. Those signs can also make them more content to get Cozy and STAY THERE. Alot of men are in this state (video game systems/consoles) right now and as it stands there hasn't been enough concern for there to be research done on how to snap them out of it. You may need to make plans on how you can survive without him and by leaveing him, though his debts will still be yours. Spending on your Needs and setting back money for these needs is the first priority and where money should go before into play time. You may need to set up some money he can't touch, like a bank account only you can access. But if he doesn't give you his pay checks there is no hope of paying the bills and the new bills he creates by over spending.
If it was posible I would tell you to locate some money savey people to do a boot bamp drill on him XD If you're relaly pushed hide the Game Console so he can't use/spend on it any more. After so many days go " Oh ya, the game system was repossessed."
Just ignore him for the next couple hours he will probably think you are an idiot and handed it to some stranger. The mention " Oh you know this is good though because now we can pay for Gas since that monthly game subscription is about as much"
I have trouble getting through to people often XD I find weird ways to snap them out of it some times.