Can you help me by giving some feedback?!


Question: Can you help me by giving some feedback!?
I am a budding teen author and I would like to know if anyone on here thinks my stories would do well in the real world; if publishers would like them!. Here are the summaries:
Nightfall
Hallie Whinestone has always thought she was a regular 15-year-old!. But once she meets Jesse, wonderful, exciting Jesse, her life takes a spin!. She falls in love with him, and he (eventually) falls in love with her!. The only problem is!.!.!.he's a ghost!.
Oh yeah, I know it's a bit like Twilight, but I'm making it way more different!.

Untouched (yes I realize that's also my name)
In the close-knit town of New Brooklyn, Pennsylvania, if you do something wild, everyone will know!. But no one witnessed the murder of Reverend Michaels and his family!.
Except Leah Gallagher!.
It was HER drunk ex-step-brother who crashed into the house that snowy evening!.
It was HER fault for going along with the joyride!.
And it was HER mother who would be judging the case!.
Leah can't seem to figure out how she's supposed to hide the secret while somehow trying to make everything okay!.

Nightfall is currently 6 chapters; Untouched is one!. I plan to finish them at least by 2010!. So do you like one more than the other!? Both!? Or neither!? (If you don't please don't comment negatively!.) Any details I could add into either story!? Do you think they will get picked up!? I know that's a lot of questions, but if you decided to read this question please answer them!. also, if you're a teen writer too, state that!Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
Hi!. I really think that Untouched sounds really interesting!. Nightfall sounds too much like Twilight and I just personally think that plot line has been done too many times, and , in my opinion, it's just not a story that need to be told more than once!. Untouched on the other hand sounds like it could be really good!. I hope I wasn't too mean or critical!. Good luck!Www@Enter-QA@Com



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