Mirror of Death. Short story please rate.?!
Question: “Stacy!” Cassie yelled for her sister. The lights of the house was out and the only light in the house came from candles. The lights had been cut off by the on going storm. The storm had started at least two hours ago. The two girls had been scared of storms since they could remember. Stacy was especially scared, so they figured what a better way to pass time than play a game of hide-and-go-seek.
“Alright,” said Stacy trying to make her voice loud so it could beat the sounds of the storm. “I give up. Now can you please come out?” Cassie was now at the top of the stairs. She stood in the wide hall waiting for a sign from her sister. None came. Her father was outside talking to the neighbor about the storm and when the electricity would be coming back on. Her mother died only twomonths back.
She and her sister were told she died because something went wrong during a surgery, but they were never shown any actual proof that is what really happened.
Answers: “Stacy!” Cassie yelled for her sister. The lights of the house was out and the only light in the house came from candles. The lights had been cut off by the on going storm. The storm had started at least two hours ago. The two girls had been scared of storms since they could remember. Stacy was especially scared, so they figured what a better way to pass time than play a game of hide-and-go-seek.
“Alright,” said Stacy trying to make her voice loud so it could beat the sounds of the storm. “I give up. Now can you please come out?” Cassie was now at the top of the stairs. She stood in the wide hall waiting for a sign from her sister. None came. Her father was outside talking to the neighbor about the storm and when the electricity would be coming back on. Her mother died only twomonths back.
She and her sister were told she died because something went wrong during a surgery, but they were never shown any actual proof that is what really happened.
the main plot of the story is good but, yes there is a but, there are quite a few grammatical errors that need to be fixed..........the beginning is sort of confusing because it says that stacey says that she gives up searching but then it says that stacey is the one hiding.......you should elaborate more in your sentences and stop using the word "the" so much in the beginning......also, it makes no sense that someone would stand outside during a thunderstorm talking to a neighbour.....logically, it makes no sense......i think that you need to come up with your own ideas for the story because if someone tells you what to put in part 2, you will need to give them credit for the idea......what i can suggest is that you either end it in suspense or with most of the questions answered.........then again, this is just my opinion......why is this in the entertainment and music section??? would it not have been better in the Arts and Humanities section?