Is this poem like really bad?!


Question: i had to write a poem for school about a household item and make it come to life. i did my ihome/ipod. tell me is this like really horrible?

with the little pink music maker perched atop its head
the melodic tunes flow gracefully
the neon pink sides glow to encourage me
'smile one last shot of redemption' it bellows
which is exactly what I do.

my one life line when despair arrives
tell me the answers of life
sing to me, make me think
as your words dance around the room
shout at the top of your lungs and sing with me

turn the cold dial and chooe the fate
the monotonous dreamy sounds blast
the mood, the feel of the room turn
with every new song the music pumps louder
the twinklin clock flashes 9:40

you speak logically, my friend
for you understand what life's about
so keep pumping louder, dont stop
'its spitting out a ridiculous frequency, but turn it up, turn it up'
and thats what I do.


Answers: i had to write a poem for school about a household item and make it come to life. i did my ihome/ipod. tell me is this like really horrible?

with the little pink music maker perched atop its head
the melodic tunes flow gracefully
the neon pink sides glow to encourage me
'smile one last shot of redemption' it bellows
which is exactly what I do.

my one life line when despair arrives
tell me the answers of life
sing to me, make me think
as your words dance around the room
shout at the top of your lungs and sing with me

turn the cold dial and chooe the fate
the monotonous dreamy sounds blast
the mood, the feel of the room turn
with every new song the music pumps louder
the twinklin clock flashes 9:40

you speak logically, my friend
for you understand what life's about
so keep pumping louder, dont stop
'its spitting out a ridiculous frequency, but turn it up, turn it up'
and thats what I do.

That's really good the only two parts I don't like is the, "the neon pink sides glow"maybe try a different word instead of neon like radiant, lustrous or gleaming also I think you should get rid of the, "and thats what I do." and just stop it at turn it up

ahh i actually really like this! kudos to you haha



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