Thoughts on my Poem?!


Question: All Too Soon

Coming closer, I feel it near,
Worried for her, all this fear,
Yesterday it happened, tomorrow it will come
But just for today, everything’s undone,

Hold on a little longer, we may yet be wrong,
My faith pulled asunder, mornings soon to come,
Chills up and down, all across my spine,
Just as he says, “She’ll die in due time”

I felt the tears falling; I fell upon the floor,
Still she kept on stalling, to see us all once more,
She tried to keep breathing, as I took her hand,
She appeared to be sleeping, in some beautiful wonderland,

I knew she was dying, yet I could not resist,
I just kept on lying; she couldn’t be on Death’s list,
Slowly she pulled me closer, put her mouth to my ear,
Told me just to hold her, just to stay near,

All through the night, I stayed right by her side,
I was losing a fight, and had nowhere to hide,
The next morning came; her soul left the room,
“Mother,” I kept saying, “You died all too soon


Answers: All Too Soon

Coming closer, I feel it near,
Worried for her, all this fear,
Yesterday it happened, tomorrow it will come
But just for today, everything’s undone,

Hold on a little longer, we may yet be wrong,
My faith pulled asunder, mornings soon to come,
Chills up and down, all across my spine,
Just as he says, “She’ll die in due time”

I felt the tears falling; I fell upon the floor,
Still she kept on stalling, to see us all once more,
She tried to keep breathing, as I took her hand,
She appeared to be sleeping, in some beautiful wonderland,

I knew she was dying, yet I could not resist,
I just kept on lying; she couldn’t be on Death’s list,
Slowly she pulled me closer, put her mouth to my ear,
Told me just to hold her, just to stay near,

All through the night, I stayed right by her side,
I was losing a fight, and had nowhere to hide,
The next morning came; her soul left the room,
“Mother,” I kept saying, “You died all too soon

I like it a lot- especially because all of it rhymed.
It's even cooler because it's one of those poems where we don't know what's going on until the end, and then you read it again and it's like "Ah, yes."

this is a site to ask questions,,not to post your poems..

its beautiful i love it!

That's sad.

Many rhyming words. However, far too many chliches throughout the poem. Try to be more original!

That Guy who didn't appreciate your poem and left the rude comment is also an idiot.
She specifically asked, "what do you think about my poem?"
So go back and get your GED ***#0L&......
Oh...sorry...I think your poem is very true to what you experienced..sorry about your mother's passing....Poetry and song help alot with these situations......

yahh your really good
it really made me thinkk.. and you were pretty descriptive which is always good
i write too but idk i never manage to make it ryhme and still sound good but YOU
youuu pulled it off.
good workk girl.
you can checkk out my songg... id really appreciate it
thank youu.

http://answers.yahoo.com/question/index;...

Awww! That is such a sad poem! I absulutley adore it! It's amazing, and if you wrote it, you have a lot of talent!

i'm sorry, your poem is very good, go to poetry.com you might enjoy this site. the same thing just happen in my life i know how u feel. i wrote a poem also, it's at poetry.com title:::
GOOD BY MY PARENTS



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