I'm writing a horror book, i might make it a manga, tell me what you think o!


Question: I'm writing a horror book, i might make it a manga, tell me what you think of the opening!?
i changed the names!.

zeath : intro

i've been locked in this room,more like a celler for so long!.!.!.
i feel my mind cracking!.!.!.and i can smell the holy water on my chains!.
All I hear is screaming!.!.!.and i wonder if it's all in my head and it
feels like i'm in hell!.
Theres a light i can't reach,it's only 3 feet away,i feel so weak (it's only!.!.!.a few feet) there is no bed there are no windows!.!.!.just a door!.!.!.and the only people who come into my hell are theese priests!.!.!.
that put me in here AND TO THINK they call them selfs sons of god!.!.!.
what did i do!? What d-did I do!?!
I-I just don't know!.!.!.i used to have a home, i used to be normal!
!.!.!.But!.!.!.i feel it tearing at me, this thing inside my stomic, it isn't
human!.!.!.i'm not human!.!.!.

Zeath : chapter 1
THE POISEN OF LOVE!.Www@Enter-QA@Com


Answers:
It sounds good for the opening of a manga!. I can picture it!.
Just fix up your grammar and spelling and I think your golden!.
If you decide to make it a regular novel, make it much more descriptive, but don't go overboard like "Fear slowly creapt into the darkened abyss that was my mind!." You don't want them to sound emo!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

its good but try to be more descriptive and enthusiastic its really good i would like to read the whole chapter


PS:nice name of chapterWww@Enter-QA@Com

It's good but you really need to work on grammar and spelling!. It wouldn't be a bad manga, but honestly, I wouldn't read it if the grammar and stuff was bad!. Just being honest!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

its ok i guess but if theres no windows how can there b any liteWww@Enter-QA@Com

It's really descriptive!.!.!.!.which is good!. =]Www@Enter-QA@Com

itz cool enough!.!.!.Www@Enter-QA@Com

lol guy above meWww@Enter-QA@Com

I've seen worse!.
Uh,no,y wud I be still be mad about that!?1!.u were like stoned or somethin!.u didn't write ANYWHERE the word mason!.or u were drunk!.!.!.
2!.Y wud I be mad about the stalker thing!?1st of all,do ya really think I wud stalk u!?I already have darien freedman!.!.!.<3!.2nd of all,I know u were jk'ing!u were like jk lol so I'm just like w/e
But really,I've seen worse!.y wud I lie to u!?I think it might look better in a manga,no offenseWww@Enter-QA@Com



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