Will you read my Naruto Fanfiction and tell me what you think?!
Question: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4079860/1/Wh...
and if your a member will you leave a reveiw on the site.
thanks :)
Answers: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/4079860/1/Wh...
and if your a member will you leave a reveiw on the site.
thanks :)
Wow, that was... ugh... rated 16+. And also very... ugh.... unexpected. Also, it needs better grammar. The spelling errors were distracting. Very confusing too. The story goes by fast. It needs more details. Like, how'd they get captured? And, why could Sasuke not do anything to help Sakura? He could have had some jutsu done on him to hold him away or something. And poor Naruto, it does not seem he could die that easily. At least let him put up a little fight. Or at least if he somehow lost the Kyuubi inside of him so he can't heal himself. I really don't think Naruto would die that easily.
is it a sasuxsaku story?
you should make sasuxnaru story thats a better coupling
It was very well written except for the line "The wall was covered with blood and sperm...." seemed a little out of place. Overall, not bad, really set the correct mood.
It sounds good.
Naruto Rocks!!!!!
it's hard to believe it because sakura's story is already told...
you have to go and delete all those stories and then take in this one
but i really enjoyed it even though it took me a while to finish....
keep it up!
That was so wrong =( i didnt like that srry but it was cool that u made susuke show emotions