What insults have you heard where you really can't help but grin?!

What insults have you heard where you really can't help but grin?

hold on, will get em, have em saved. lol


if you had another braincell, you'd be a dafodil.
if your brain was chocolate, you wouldnt have enought to make a smartee.
about as much use as a chocolate fireguard
about as much use as a ashtray on a motorbike
about as useful as a fart in a thunderstorm.
your either a liar or a w@nker, and you cant lie for SHlT
if brains had wings , you'd be grounded for life.
you set a low standard, and failed to achieve it.
you was a w@nk till your mum got in the way.
you wanted to be a spaceman, if your dad had been 2 seconds quicker, you woulda been


Any similarity between you and a human being is purely coincidental.
Are you depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to make a money out of you. I can't take the credit.
I bet I know what you use for contraception? Your personality
I hear the only place you're invited is outside.
I thought I saw your name on a loaf of bread this morning. But when I looked again what it actually said was , "Thick cut."
I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ar*e.
I'm trying to image you with a personality.
I've only got one nerve left - and you're getting on it.
Keep talking, I always yawn when I'm interested.
Please breath the other way, you're bleaching my hair.
You've got your head so far up your ar*e you could chew your food twice.
I hear you had an ar*e transplant - and the ar*ehole rejected you.
I wouldn't pi*s in your ear if your brain was on fire.
If I wanted to hear from an as* I'd fart.
It's hard to believe you beat one million other sperm.
You are a haemorrhoid on the ar*e of the world.
You look like a talent scout for a cemetery.
You do a very good impression of a river - small at the head and big at the mouth.
Your elevator doesn't go all the way to the top.
Your lights are on but no-ones at home.
Your wheel is spinning but the hamster's dead.
You're a few beans short of a casserole.
You're a few sandwiches short of a picnic.
To call you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.
Are you always this stupid or is it a special occasion?
Don't let your mind wander too far - it's too little to be out alone.
If idiots could fly, this would be an airport.
When I look in your eyes I see the back of your head.
Your mouth's in gear but your brain's in neutral. :)



have you just SHlT yourself, or do you always smell like that?



loved all these from a question i posted yonks ago. enjoy. lol