Affirmations for Pessimists...and more?!
Question:
Affirmations for Pessimists...and more?
Don’t try beating ‘em or joining ‘em. Either hang out by yourself or quit.
Seek, and you shall be disappointed.
Knock, and the door shall be slammed in your face.
If you don’t have anything nice to say, welcome to the club.
Did you ever sit back and evaluate your life and think, “Wow, things are
going just as I always wanted them to?” I didn’t think so - me either.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an important meeting and couldn’t find a parking place. Looking up to heaven he said, Lord take pity on me. If you find me aparking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life and give up me Irish Whiskey”.
Miraculously, a parking place appeared. Paddy looked up again and said, “Never mind, I found one
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of
bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had
even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband’s advice.
“What do you think?” I asked. “Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?”
“Better get a bikini,” he replied. “You’d never get it all in one.”
Answers:
Love the Paddy one, if I can stop laughing long enough, I'll try to catch up on the rest.